uoy etah gnikcuf I

Lol this is the first post I am writing about myself for the first time after about a month. I know i have been blogging about some random junk lately but yeah back to reality lol, enough fantasy. Good news is I have just finished my oral and that really takes a very big load off my shoulders because my teacher has been delaying it alot. So far my presentation has been carried forward twice because of some complications. This is really some frustrating shit but Im glad its finally over. The good thing is i didnt get nervous during my presentation although i did put my teacher to sleep haha for about 2 minutes.

Anyways if you have to ask, Ive not been bike riding alot lately because of quite a number of reasons.
1) Too much work
2)bike had to be serviced
3)papers are too near
4)bad weather
5)lazy
6) some guy got killed in my neighbourhood

Im not kidding some dude seriously got killed in my neighbourhood. It scares the shit out of me.
Do you know how defenceless I am on a bike? haha. Anyway i will continue my normal routine in due time. This is just not the very best time of my semester to delve into such trivial matters, although I think Ive been gaining alot of weight i think. Due to the lack of excercise I have been having quite a number of problems such as lethargy and insomnia. Damn.. these past few days Ive been feeling like real shit.

Well being here for so long only proves one thing to me. That I really have nothing to look forward to anymore. My life has turned blank all of the sudden. I know ive been ranting about this all the time on my blog but seriously its kicked in hard this time. Nothing here excites me, I laugh at the most ridiculous things, nothing interesting ever happens and everyday is just exactly the same. Im just in a very stoned stage right now, its like my mind is going through hibernation while the lights are still on. I really have no mood to entertain anyone anymore, I cant stand the slightest of annoyance anymore, I get more irritable and I sometimes angry for no apparent reason. I do apologize to anyone if i have been acting weird but its just a temporary phase im going through now.

Normally I would say that going back to Penang will make me feel better, but not this time. I feel if I go back to Penang Ill have nothing to look forward to doing. No one special I need to see, nothing. Everything has changed now. The past always seems like a pleasant warm place and the future is a cold desolate place where colours seem to fade. This year started off good, everything was nice, I didnt have much problems, much worries and everything went well. Now this year is sort of ending with a bad note. To be honest Im really beginning to hate this year, especially this month. Everything has been so confusing and frustrating, not my studies but just everything else.

I am not looking forward to Christmas
I dont give a shit about it
All im interested in now is getting my speakers in PC fair.
Finally I can pump the bass and drown out all inferiorities of life
This is not an emo post
Im so sorry I had to post it up but its 3 in the morning now
and i cant Fucking sleep