2028

Time for a completely useless post not regarding myself...
Alright ladies and gentlemen, with today's amount of outbreaks and epidemics such
as bird flue, SARS, H1N1 and even in the past they had the plague. With epidemics
hitting the human race generation by generation, the likely effects of a zombie outbreak
seems probable. Go ahead and laugh, but would you be prepared when it happens when
you least expect it? Do you think you would survive? Here are some tips for the survival
of 2010!

First of all, when an outbreak occurs, of course you would need to depend on the help of
others to survive as well. It is a fact that you cant do it alone, and teamwork is essential
for survival. However, the rule of "dont trust anybody" applies in a situation as dire as this
as it is every man for himself. So here is a list of people you might require to ensure survival.

1) The gullible friend
In order to survive a zombie epidemic, you need a gullible friend. Why so? Well, its an extra
body and he is gullible! Gullible friends have many functions, the first one is that they are
a great form of diversion. You can always coax them into diverting the attention of zombies
away from you while you can make a clean escape(his safety is not important). You can
also coax him into doing things you wouldnt dare do yourself, such as looking for food in
a creepy building and being bait. Well, in the case of being chased by a massive number
of zombies, all you have to do is be able to outrun him! not the zombies. So you can coax
him into running slower, thats if you can find such a good gullible friend.

2) The hot chick
Yeah baby! In every zombie apocalyptic world you need a hot chick by your side. In a
world overun by zombies, hot chicks somehow come in handy because the become xena
warriors with chainsaws of all a sudden for some unknown reason. So yeah she's a plus to
have cos at one point of your journey to survival she will save your life somehow. Plus,
she is better at coaxing the gullible friend anyways ;). Oh yeah, she is the only chance of
you repopulating the world.

3) The smart guy
This guy is a must, he is the one who handles all the technical stuff such as devicing strategies
, flying helicopters, busting security systems and hardwiring cars. The smart guy doesnt
survive well so learn from him what you need. He is a plus factor in survival as well, cos
even the gullible friend could outrun him in a zombie chase cos of his lesser physical state.

4) The policeman
During a mad dash out of the city, you would probably run into one of these guys. They are
dependable cos they are brave and they are armed. However this is in Malaysia, so you
might have to bribe these guys first =.= of course, he doesnt realise that money doesnt have
value anymore but just give it to him. Well, urmm you can just wait for him to get killed
so you can have his gun, car and maybe his hat

5) The dog
Dogs are very useful as the senses are way stronger than ours. They bark when those
smelly zombies are nearby and give warnings before and imminent attack. However,
you would require a smart dog that follows you around and not chase after zombies and
in turn join their already massive numbers. Plus factor in survival, if food runs out, the
dog is there. oops

In a world invaded by zombies you require some items for survival. These items can
be useful in the sense of offensive attacks, defense and for consumption. Here is a
short list of items that you might want to carry around with you.

1) A melee weapon
You would require something long, thick and pointy. Not talking about the one you guys
already have tho. Something like a long metal pole, which can be used for pushing and
hitting. Knifes are useless and you will get bitten before you can even deal any damage.

2) A gun(from the dead policeman)
Use this only when required. This is the best form of persuasion for the gullible friend.
Save one bullet because its better to die by a bullet than being torn into dozens of
pieces.

3) A bottle of liquor
This is a useful item when you are feeling cowardly. You can drink it before death is close

or you can use it to burn those undead bastards. Still, alcohol is quite valueble in an
apocalyptical world. So just down it anyways.

4) Cigarettes
Who cares about lung cancer when you are gonna die eventually? In a world filled with
death and misery why not start? Wouldnt kill anyone anyways. Plus it looks cool.

5) A stolen vehicle(hardwired by the smart guy)
Duhhhhh, you wanna walk?

6) A radio transmitter(somehow souped up by the smart guy)
To find more smart guys out there, more gullible friends and hopefully more hot chicks.

7) food, water, medikit, medicine, clothing, condoms, etc

Tips and tricks
Tips and tricks of surviving a zombie outbreak in Malaysia
1) You have bigger chance of survival if you flee to kampung areas
2) Do not stay and defend in a single area, that never works out
3) If the infection happened on a friday avoid mosques
4) If you worry about guilt, dont. Malaysians have 0 attractiveness, killing them would be easy.
5) Avoid times square and prangin mall, wouldnt wanna be killed by lala zombies @__@
6) Malaysia is a diverse country, zombies have camouflague at night
7) Ignore fat zombies, they will die of cardiac arrest anytime
8) Dont hide in jungles, if zombies dont get you, pontianaks will

to be continued