Between Fantasy and What is Real

Spiritual Conditioning

2011-01-03T03:05:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, two of Lord Buddha's diciples were traversing across India.
Of both men of the robe, one was rather gentle and big in size, while the other
was petitely built with a fury of a man twice his size. During their journey they
reached a river which they had to cross. The currents were strong as torrents
of water pounded against the river rocks. As they were about to cross they took
notice of a pretty young woman trying to cross the river as well. She was weakly
built and she would have been swept by the currents as easily as the dry leaves
in the summer. The bigger sized monk offered the young woman to sit on his back
so he can help her across. The small sized monk was perplexed. Being men of the
robe they were not allowed to come in contact with the opposite sex. He kept a
angry, frustrated and disappointed demeanor as his giant brother ferried the sweet
young thing across the river. The demeanor remained for the rest of the journey,
while the big sized monk remained nonchalant. Throughout the rest of the journey
the small monk was quiet and cold. Upon reaching their monastery he couldn't hold
it in any longer and yelled at the bigger monk.

"How could you come in contact with that woman?! It is against our teachings!!!"

The big sized monk still maintaining his calm, uttered words that filled his small
sized brother with guilt.

"I have merely carried the woman as far as the other side of the river. How come you're still carrying her along?"

Sometimes in life without realizing we would carry excess baggage of unpleasant
thoughts, feelings and grudges from the past. Obstacles and conflict get in our way
every once in a while. It is only wise that we learn from them. However we truly
only learn from these incidents when we have learnt to let them go. Life is short,
do not let the weight of these excess baggage hinder your journey :)

Melaka Trip II

2010-11-26T21:12:00.000-08:00

Wish upon a boat

Headed to Melaka once again with coursemates to gather some information for
our assignment. The last time I went there was quite recent, it was one of those
beginning of semester trips we have before the assignments poured in. Never
would I imagine going down there again FOR assignment purpose. Regardless
we did what we had to do and it was quite a good trip, eventhough it was just a
day trip.

Got up 7 in the morning and left around 7:45. Ive never woken up this early in
a very long time and I felt like a secondary school student zombie once again. We
took the same kampung path we did the last time before reaching the highway.
The weird part was regardless of how kampung it got, it really reminded me of
Semenyih, except those kampungs which had cow's and stuff, those are the
ghettos of Malaysia lol.

At the highway the driver got kinda sleepy, so I took over. What a feeling it was
being on the road again. After weeks of mindless assignment work, a long drive
was rather therapeutic for me. I dont't know why, but a long drive does me good
whenever Im stressed or down. Being on the road and moving fast gives me a
feeling of freedom somehow. It just feels as though Im moving at the same speed
as our fast paced lives. This semester just seems to be a slow and dark one, and
yet it feels like its fleeting by ever so swiftly. Anyways back to the trip.

We headed to Jasin, somewhere in the outskirts of Melaka. It was there where
we gathered information for our coursework. I will not divulge any information
here for the sake of ethics(such a good jr psychologist). It's a very quiet town
and suprisingly big, but it was filled with those wooden traditional Malay houses
and pre-war shoplots. It didnt take too long to get what we wanted and we
were very satisfied with our findings. With the feeling of satisfaction off we
drove to Melaka.

When we reached the town, the familiar feelings came back. The sight of the red
church, the colourful trishaws and the british colonial buildings brought out all
the memories of a 9 year old me who visited the place with my family a long time
ago. But there was something definitely different. Im not sure why I didnt realise
this the last time I came, but Melaka isnt what it used to be. What was suppose
to be a town which was suppose to maintain it's cultural image instead morphed
into a modern tourist trap. The trishaws that once peacefully roam the tiny town
now have amps installed and they blast techno music. What used to be shops selling
antiques and other intricate relics are now replaced with cafes and bars with
overpriced drinks meant for the whites. Shops which used to sell beautiful handmade
keychains now sell plastic couple keychains and other cute souvenirs.

As we walked into jonker street it just felt like a whole new Melaka. The old
historical, rustic and wooden charm of Melaka is slowly dying. Regardless, it
still has the cosy feeling of it. Im just sad by the time my "kids" come in, the
charm of it may be completely lost. I know Penang is going through the same
thing, but it's out with the old and in the with the new. I dont mind a single
bit :)

Anyways, we did a really unique thing in Melaka. It's called the wishing boats.
As you can see from the picture above this post, there are some boats which
ferry tourists by the riverside of Melaka. These boats constantly cruise under
pedestrian bridges. The concept is you grab a coin and make a wish, when the
boats comes close you throw the coin on the roof of the boat where it will remain.
Haha, it's something we made up on our own. I made the same wish twice, I
hope it really comes true :(

We spent the day walking and mostly laughing. It's good to feel relaxed again
after all the stress and confusion. Im glad I had a tiny holiday from life. Till
we meet again Melaka.. :)

Updates

2010-11-21T07:38:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, I know I have blogged a lot about factual stuff that you guys really
dont need to know about and nothing about myself. Im also quite aware that
this blog died for awhile before I revived it again causing me to lose a quite a
significant number of my already very small population of readers.
None-the-less I shall continue blogging for my own personal reasons. This
blog has contained quite a lot of memories and it would be a real shame to
just let it go. Regardless of how long this blog may go inanimate I shall
eventually come back to it :)

I do not usually like to blog about myself, but since this is my blog after all
I feel that a few updates would not hurt ;) I shall list them down very
briefly here

1) In a social study conducted in UNMC, it was concluded from various respondents
that my brother looks wayyyyyyyyy younger then me. I dont know what's worse,
the fact that he is 3 years older then me or the fact that I look half my age.

2) I have mastered a few dishes through cooking experiments in my kitchen. F.Y.I
the 5 second rule does not apply on my kitchen floor. It's more like -5 second rule.

3) Kenneth a.k.a FJORD or htknnek has 4 packs. Dont believe me? Ask him to take
off his shirt(true fact).

4) Yih Quan is not around anymore, sigh. This means that I have been atleast a few
months sober. That bioscience birthday party does not count! I could still do pumping
after that lol.

5) Retardo learns how to shake and sit. Just like stoner :D

6) Stoner is dead :( Found her dead. Cause of death unknown.

7) Im getting slightly more proficient in mandrin! Im becoming more of a mango
than a banana hahaha. Still can't completely form full sentences though, just can
order food.

8) Assignments are closing in and Im scared shitless.

9) The guy upstairs is still smelly

10) Im homesick :(

Well, that is all the updates I have for now. This semester has been a really fast
one. It just feels like yesterday I was unpacking my stuff, today Im already working
my butt off on assignments. Speaking of assignments I have to get back to mine
before I lose track of time again. :)

Truth

2010-11-19T09:36:00.000-08:00

What is unconditional love?

The meaning of unconditional love sounds simple. Unconditional love means that
you will love someone no matter what they do. This does not mean that you do
not see their faults. You just continue loving them in spite of these faults.

That is the simple meaning to it. When most people are asked about it, they say
they receive it and they provide from and to their loved ones. They say it with
full confidence, I said it myself too once. But when more thought was put into it,
I told myself the term seemed to good to be true. How can you continue loving
someone regardless of what they did?

What if your loved one hurt you? What if he/she cheated on you? What if he/she
is a criminal? What if they are of a different race? Age? Religion? There are a
thousand more ifs and a thousand more things someone can tolerate. But how far
exactly does the limit of one's tolerance stretches? Even love which has braved
storms many times before can be eventually shattered by a mere breeze.

The truth is, love can be a very simple and yet very complicated thing. It is very
simple in the sense where two people are attracted to each other and they form a
bond together which lasts from just a few days to an eternity. It is complicated in
a sense where the person you hate the most is also you love and care for the most.
It seems that in life, everything goes both ways, you can't have something good
without something bad accompanying it.

With "unconditional" love, it just seems to break the code of life. To love someone
indefinitely regardless of how much they hurt you. It just seems that with that
kind of love you only choose to see the good. What if you choose to unconditionally
love someone who continually hurts you? Seems rather impossible right? Seems
rather divine doesn't it? But whether you believe it or not, my opinion is that it
does not exist. Love like that only exists in fairytales.

Beholder

2010-11-13T09:08:00.000-08:00

Who am I?

Have you pondered upon this question before? What do you perceive yourself as?
What is your personality? How do you behave? What are your intentions? What
role do you play among your family and friends? What is your purpose of living?
Right about now you may or may not have the answers to these questions. But
how much do you really know about yourself?

Most of us have a rough idea about who we are. We know our attitudes be it the
active sort or the passive sort. We roughly know about how patient we are, be it
short tempered or tolerant towards others. We can observe our intelligence
through our test results. We can judge our appearance looking at the toilet mirror
every morning. There are endless ways how we see ourselves and what we
perceive ourself as.

But do you really think that the judgements you make upon yourself is correct?
Do you think you really know who you are? Some of us may have the benefit of
the doubt. There are those who have a certain level of rationale to make correct
judgements about themselves while the rest of us are not that priviledged. You

see, people make general assumptions based on their own knowledge. But exactly
how accurate is your general knowledge? Do you think your assumptions are valid?
It really depends on how intelligent you are and how much you know about something.
There will always be errors and discrepancies in our assumptions. Having said so,
can you really make valid judgement about who you are?

You see, we tend to perceive ourselves as who we want to be. We tend to reject and
deny the negative qualities about ourself. For instance lets say that I see myself as
the patient sort and Im a good listener. I would remember the times when I listened
and comforted a broken hearted friend but, I wouldnt even realise it when I yell at my
brother for criticizing my dangerous driving. Some of us tend to be vain and stare at
the mirror at every opportunity we have. Regardless of how good looking we vision
ourself as, it really depends on other people to judge our appearance. So as you can
see, we tend to distort the knowledge about ourselves. Only the important people
in our lives can make accurate judgements about us.

As for those who have a more or less accurate perception of themselves, I salute you.
But are you someone you want to be or someone you should be? There is a fine line
between want and should. For example, lets say you are someone who actively donates
to charitable organizations. Do you donate because you want to or do you do it because
others are doing it as well? Or lets say you have good grades because you have a
targeted career in mind or because you want to please your parents. Or perhaps you
have alot of friends, therefore you see yourself as someone friendly, but deep down
you can stand dejection and being alone.

So, do you really know who you are? Are you sure? Well I dont :(

Society

2010-11-12T08:16:00.000-08:00

For millions of years, humans have taken many forms through evolution. We once
lived in the water, we were once apes and now we take on our current humanoid form.
Despite the fact that we were once very different, we share a common characteristic. An
instinct we had for millions of years and many more to come. The basic instinct of survival.
The instinct that drives us to live, the instinct that has kept our species existant till today.

The survival instinct basically drives us into doing anything to keep us alive and ensure the
continuity of our species. During the harsh conditions back then, our ancestors had to run,
steal, kill, rape and commit many other atrocities which are unacceptable to our civilized and

tamed society today. Back then there was no order or law, our ancient ancestors were

animals amongst other animals.

In our present time, with order in our society humans still carry with them the instinct of
survival. We can observe this through our daily routine and behaviour in our social life. We
have our methaphorical food chain where we avoid those above our social hierachy which
are a threat to us and we "prey on" or manipulate those who we feel are below us. We move in
"packs" or our so called cliques. We do whatever it takes to survive in Uni, from studying
really hard to cheating in a test for the sake of our future. We find those "desperate" friends
of ours who constantly look for companions who are subconsciously following the survival
instinct of continuing the species. We "prowl" or "stalk" on facebook to get to know our
friends or evens enemies better. We have feel jealous when people harrass or talk to our
mates, we feel angry when people hurt our friends and we gossip/bitch because we are
protecting and maintaing our territory. This is less related to the survival instinct of our
ancestors but somewhat applied to our social world.

In a more realistic notes, the behaviours of our ancestors can still be seen today. There
are cases where people steal, why would they do such things? To put food on the table of
course. However, there is a difference between stealing for survival and stealing for the sake

of greed. I however personally feel that both are contingent. There are still people out there
who commit rape. Lust is actually an animalistic instinct to breed but rapists are however
still wrong as they lack self control. We still find people who kill, coerce, threaten, harrass
and humiliate others. All of this done for the sake of their own survival. Truly even today
in certain environments, its survival of the fittest.

As we can observe, the survival instinct is part of our human programming. For millions
of years we have behaved this way and we will continue doing so. Some of us may have
more self control and have a sense of empathy for others while some may not. Despite
the fact as that we perceive ourselves as the intelligent beings we see today, we still are
infact animals of our modern world

Anchor Effect

2010-11-10T08:33:00.000-08:00

One thing I realise lately is that people tend to change over time. I have always
gotten used to the fact that people will change and I will in turn change my perspective
as well so I can adapt towards their new behaviour or attitude. So far that has served
me well and I did not lose alot of friends, just some of course which were never really
friends to begin with. However, recently that was not the case. I found out that it is
not exactly time that changes people, it is the situations that arises as time goes by

There was a term I heard..

In the time of need, those who have always been there for you may abandon you and
those who you expected to knock you down will pick you up.

When I read this term I felt that whoever quoted it must have been really stupid and
have no common sense as this statement did not seem to hold any form of logic. Well
maybe in movies but hardly in real life. However I have been sadly proven wrong as
of late. I realise that shit does happen sometimes. There are people out there who make
you feel like you are significant to them and they show all forms of care and concern.
They give you advice based on their own opinion try to prevent you from doing something
which they assume you will regret.

At first I thought people that kind and generous will make invalueble friends. How wrong
was I, what seemed like concern and friendship had all been some form of illusion. Let me
clarify. Sometimes, people have feel a sense of belonging and dislike lonliness. They feel
bitter at the fact that others do not treat them the way the expect them to. They do not
feel appreciated by others and feel insignificant to most(due to their own attitudes perhaps).
Therefore they find friends who they feel are less intimidating and easy. They use them
as an anchor or a base to run to when they have no one else. They look down at them and
feel that they should and must be better than them(their anchors).

At anytime, when they feel threatened that their anchor is gonna be taken from them,
they jump into action and find all sorts of ways to harm, cockblock, sabotage and
demotivate their anchors in an attempt to keep them away from others. Not until they
find other friends of course. I dub this phenomena the Anchor Effect.

Sometimes when a situation arises where you are in need of help the most, the people
who you expect the most to be there for you actually may bring you down even further.
The people who you expect to hurt you when you are down sometimes may be the ones
who will be there for you when you least expect it. True story.

Friends

2010-09-13T05:46:00.000-07:00

Im currently at tiscra now stealing some internet. Its been about 12 days now since
Ive been here and I must say that it has been both very boring and uneventful at
the same time. Im stuck now living alone in my dorm without internet. Day by day
going to the gym, having meals alone and playing offline games on the internet. Well
it isnt that sad actually, I do go out on one day intervals atleast. Its just that during
the intervals when Im at home, its just really boring.

During the first week was great though. Had quite alot of things to do such as helping
out during the watermelon party and catching up with uni friends. Well, by catching
up with them I meant having a drinking session at my place and going all the way to
Klang to have some Bak Kut Teh LOL! Had a versus of the slangs as well LOL!

On the same week I managed to catch up with some college friends. Didnt really go
anywhere but Sky Bar this weekend hopefully. I bumped into my secondary school
friends as well while out with my college friend. It was nice catching up with them
after about 2 years of not seeing them and had an awesome L4D2 session. I know
not something you would really do while catching up with old friends but it was fun.

Well on the sad side I have already sent off two good friends of mine. They are gonna
study abroad and its just gonna different here without them sigh. One of them is off
to the UK while the other is off to China. Well, wont be having much drinking sessions
nor trash talking no more without them around. Jolene is going off during the 22nd as
well to the UK. Siao PHOR! Get me more "blue" keychains arr? hahah. Sigh the 3 of
you will be sorely missed, all the best and do keep in touch.

Well, recently Jess dropped over her dog at my place with the case of tick's invasion.
At first it was an all out war as I had to pick vast amount of ticks from this dog. This
dog had it bad! But I gave it everything, from feeding it phenominal amounts of garlic
to applying garlic directly to its skin, bathing the dog with the chemical that minny
gave me and basically giving it a bath on alternate days. I dunno what did the trick
but the ticks are nearly extinct. Well the irony of it all is that as time passes I realise
that at the end of this day, the dog is taking care of me rather than me taking care of
it. It keeps me company, barks at strangers and my boring mornings are now spent
on walking it.

Well that is all the updates I have for now. I will diligently update this blog when the
internet in my house is up and running. Goodnight

Zombie Post II

2010-08-26T07:22:00.000-07:00

An infection has occured in our so called beautiful country. With only our police

force and RELA to help out, there arent many survivors. Most of the politicians
have flown off on their helicopters by now. The country is filled with chaos and
its citizens abandoned to fend for them selves. Nobody escapes, not even the Mat
Rempits who try to "superman" away, crash and get eaten. This is a more logical
follow up to my previous related post.

You have been holding out in your dorm for 2 weeks now. You constantly check
the internet and listen to the radio for the news and updates regarding the outbreak.
Within 4 days, almost all radio stations stop broadcasting and within a week your
wireless internet stopped working for some odd reason. Your tried calling home a
few times but nobody picks up. You somehow manage to keep in touch with some
of your friends via handphone. Turns out they are holding out somewhere too. Some
at their own homes, some at shopping malls, restuarants, 7-11 etc etc. Within 3 days
your damn credit runs out and within a week after ure internet runs, you are
completely cut out from the outside world.

Why did I use the word outside world? Well first off that cheap plywood cupboard
provided by the dorm is pinned against your window and you study table is placed
against the door with your bedframe behind it. You sleep on the floor now, sleeping
on the bedframe is much too risky as a hand might bust through the door and grab
your hair or feet depending on which side your sleep. You have been living off snacks
you bought and instant noodles "cooked" with tap water. You dont see much sunlight
aside from peeking out your window through a crack in your cupboard. You dont see
much, infact you dont really hear much. But once in a while you hear a distant shuffle
and to your horror and faint moaning. But the only time you ever hear these sounds
are rare and far in between.

You wait another five more days and the anxiety drives you crazy. Your food is running
low, so are your hopes. What are you gonna do about it? Well first off, I suggest that you
move your ass. But before you move, where are you gonna go? Whats the plan? Well, in
Malaysia I'd suggest that you go somewhere remote and far away. There are many rural
areas in Malaysia, but I suggest you go to one that isnt used by motorists as a rest stop
before heading off to bigger cities. Agricultural areas such as estates and farms are least
likely to be affected by the infection.

Alright, you chose your destination already. Time to start packing. First off you need water,
but just carry enough for one day. There are probably ample places to refill along your journey.
Get used to drinking tap water, its way more convinient than walking into a store for
mineral water and getting eaten. Next you need a weapon. Something light and durable.
Choose something blunt, knives are not gonna be of any help here. Imagine this,

STAB
STAB
*munch*

Not a good idea. Get something thats long and blunt. Well, here are your choices, depending
on your circumstances. If you are in your dorm you may have a guitar/curtain frame/barbell
bar/piping from your toilet shower/wooden stool/floor lamp or that weapon that you always
keep beside you bed incase of robbers. Well, to you paranoid folks like myself congrats, you
finally have a chance to use this weapon that has already started to gather dust. As for me I
keep a metal pole by my bedside. The lesser surface area of the weapon the better, you need
enough pressure to bash a skull. Thats the only way of taking down the undead.

What happens next? You push your bedframe aside, followed by the study table. Clenching
on one hand is your weapon while the other reaches for the door. You make a silent prayer
before you turn the knob. You walk down the dark hallway silently listening intently to your
surroundings. You see bloodstains everywhere and there is a heavy stench in the air.
Suddenly a figure appears. It seems to be shuffling towards you in the most awkward
manner with the most eerie moan. Its that chubby girl that lives a few doors away from
yours and she looks like she really needs a good facial. You give her one, with your weapon.
Bitch made a lot of noise with her speakers anyways. You are gripped with fear, but steady
yourself, its something that you're gonna have to get used to if you wanna stay alive.

Alrighty, you made your way out of the dorm safely. First thing you need to do is to
gather supplies from somewhere. Any typical Malaysian would run off to a store to gather
food and BECOME food to the undead. But no, you're smarter than that, you instead run
off to a hardware store. Yes you heard me, hardware store! Well, I would like to make a
note here, this isn't America, where you can just run off to a abandoned weapon store filled
with weapons and go create a zombie massacre. This is Malaysia, THERE ARE NO GUNS.
Our arsenal consist of what? Parang? Keris? Tombak? Blowpipe? This is when the
hardware store comes in.

First off, before I continue here, Id like to explain why the hardware store has priority over
food stores. Thats what everyone will think of and thats where the undead population will
be most dense. You wont live long enough to finish all that food anyways. Alright, you
managed to find a hardware store a flew blocks down your dorm. Along the way there you
stumbled accross a few more ghouls, but you managed to evade them and outrun them as
their decomposed legs cant carry them far. First off, if your previous weapon wasnt good
enough, you can probably find a better one in a hardware store. Well, whats on the list?
Monkey Wrench/Axe/Sledge Hammer/Crowbar. Use your imagination. Then you might
wanna bring along some kerosene for molotov cocktails, you get my drift.

You got your stuff, what are you gonna do next? Your bag is getting a little too heavy.
Walking is becoming too dangerous as your stamina is taking a toll on you. This is when
being in Malaysia becomes an advantage. Those annoying motorbikes that cut you off
on the road, you are gonna do that to those rotten bastards. Thats if of course, if you
know how to ride a motorbike. You dont know? Go learn! Im sure there will be a few
abandoned somewhere or there will be one or two at vehicle showrooms around. Why
a bike? Being in a car is too dangerous. With our lousy roads and probably wreckage all
over the place you wont be going too far. With bikes you can easily cut across debree
and the undead. However finding a bike, is gonna be quite an issue.

If you are walking, I suggest you keep to the sidewalk and not in the open. Wear shoes,
not slippers. You will be doing alot of running and shoes are way more silent than the
sound of slippers smacking the floor. Avoid walking at places where there is a corner
or where you can be ambushed. Avoid having to engage the undead at all costs. If you
have the opportunity to run just do it. You run past them, and not into them. Always
listen to your surroundings, but your nose will be you best friend from now on. You
can smell them from a mile away. Basically, they stink, really badly. When you smell
them, you know its go time.

Top Ten Places to avoid.

1. Shopping Malls
2. Office Buildings
3. Apartments
4. Hospitals
5. Over Sized Houses
6. Factories
7. Tourist Attractions
8. Industrial Areas
9. Hotels
10. Parlimen

If you do survive, and if you finally find the perfect rural area to hold up, the next
thing to do is to look for other survivors. Start looking for food and water. Ensure
that your new territory is free from the undead. Best bet? Build a tree house! END

to or not to be continued

Untitled

2010-08-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

When I was younger I have always feared the dark. Despite being in a familiar
place like my own bedroom or at my hallway, when the lights go off I would
just feel a sense of insecurity. I feel that being unable to see anything makes me
feel vulnerable. My imagination would then get wild, like crazy wild and start
conjuring weird shadows and figures in the dark. I can never be alone in a room
without the lights on.

Ive always welcomed the company of light. Infact I can only sleep better with
the light shining brightly on me. As a kid I would do anything to just get a little
light on me while I sleep. I would simply just leave the light on, leave my room
door slightly ajar so hallway lights would come in, get a night light or maybe
get a torchlight. You see, its not really the dark that I fear, it the sense of
insecurity that drives me off the freaking wall.

Now a days, its really quite the opposite. I can walk through half my house in pitch
darkness and not really flinch a single bit. Im used to sleeping alone in my room
which is now twice the size of my old room in the dark. I can take a leak in the toilet
or sometimes even a dump when the lights are all off. In fact when its night time
sometimes light can really annoy me. When Im in my room trying to sleep, I would
always have to put my pillow over my head to shield my eyes from light seeping in
from the hallway or from the street lamp outside.

I guess having insomnia sort of makes darkness a part of your life. Well, maybe not
insomnia, just a milder case perhaps. Well, in a less fancier word its a troubled mind

and an empty heart that keeps me awake. Lying down on my bed staring at the
ceiling, once menacing shadows are now all too familiar. My thoughts once
wildly conjuring terrible horrors now given a chance to abolish them and give room
for other thoughts.

Thoughts about you..

How you were able to speak to my heart and not my ears..
How you were able to touch my soul and not my body..
How you were able to bring me bliss and rarely sorrow..
How you were able to make me see love and not beauty..
How you were able to make me feel whole and not hollow..
How you were able to bring me smiles and not tears.....
How we were able to cast one and not two shadows...

Black Balloon

2010-08-18T06:41:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone, thats if there are still readers out there. I do apologize for
the inconsistency of my updates due to the apathy I have towards this blog.
Well, its because Ive been working under minimum wage this summer and
I just get kinda tired when I get home hence I have no mood to update this
blog.

I have however just stop work because summer is ending soon and I felt that
I have not done what I planned on doing this summer. I felt that this summer
is rather uneventful and I feel a tad bit disappointed for letting myself
waste the abundance of time I had. I felt I havent really catched up with my
friends because they themselves have become busier. I can honestly say that Ive
reached the stage where Im close to drifting apart from some. As for me, all I
can say is whatever will be, will be. Bridges are meant to be built halfway on
your side, if even the foundations were never built by the otherside, I see no
point crossing.

As for work, the people are friendly and the working environment can be fun. But
it was not something I wanted. I didnt want to work for the experience this summer
as I know that I would be doing the same for the next summer. I wanted to earn this
year and I didnt. That extra income could have helped me get some stuff that I have
been eyeing on for awhile. I just felt that it wasnt really worth it since Ill have to do
the same next year and there will never be another opportunity of doing so. The
field in which my training was based didnt suit my studies either. So I felt no purpose
in what I did and it was all a big waste of time.

But the upside for this summer is that it was a big eye opener for me. Ive learnt alot
work, family and stuff I went through this summer. Ive learnt that people change
and when they do, its hardly for the best. It is however pointless to change them
back because its in their nature and its who they are. Ive also seen the true nature
of certain individuals after knowing them for a long time. The first impression is
mostly if not always a far cry from the last. Ive also learnt alot about myself, Ive
learnt that Ive always waited for things to come my way, and hardly take the
initiative to do certain things. Just like the idle frog always waiting for the fly, I
never chase towards what I want. I see everything in a different reality now and
Im more battle scarred than ever..

Tick Cock

2010-07-26T07:45:00.000-07:00

"Hello, may I speak to Jenny from accounting department please?"
"Yes speaking?"
"This is Ronald here calling from ***, has the director returned the signing pages yet?"
"How should I KNOW?!"
"Well, ermm the tax department wants them by wednesday or a penalty will be imposed."
"Im quite aware of that okay??! Ill send them to you as soon as possible!!"
*PLAP!*
*line goes dead*

Just another great way of starting work in the morning as a trainee auditor. You see,
life isnt easy for the bottom leveled auditor or even for the highest ranking one. Work
mostly consists of mundane and tedious paper work which nobody really wants to do.
Not much accounting is involved really, maybe just somewhere beyond the basics but
not much further than that. Our job is somewhat almost similar to an admin job, yet
it is also somewhat similar to accounting except in a very general way.

So far I have been through several phases of being a trainee auditor. Well the first phase
was vouching. Basically you check to the figures in the accounts and you refer to receipts
to back those amounts up. Just to prove that the money went in or came out in a legit
manner. The second phase was being the photostater boy. You see, being in an auditing
firm where work is tedious and everything must be done with ZERO mistakes, nobody
really trust the trainee(btw im the youngest in the office) with the real stuff. So I dont
have much to do in the office, constantly begging my seniors for something to do. In the
end Ill always end up photostating something for them. From a few measely documents

to a whole bag full or journals, Ive photostated them all. Well, new post today! Phone
answering boy. To be honest Im really afraid of answering the phone, but I guess its
me crawling out of my comfort zone again haha.

Well, being in a firm where work is tedious, I tend to know some cranky people. People
from other companies that we often liaise with, usually accountants are cranky people
as well, for example that conversation I had stated above. Not everyone is cranky though,
the are more nice people than grumpy ones actually. Even in the midst of doing overtime,
where stress is stabbing ure shoulders, some of my colleagues can crack jokes as well.
Which made me think alot, the work isnt the cause of the bad attitude then what does?

Im pretty sure everyone knows a person or two, perhaps a friend, a colleague or a sibling
whose always short on their temper or always cranky. Well, ever wondered why they have
always been like that? Im sure its not something inate or something that our shortfused
comrades were born with. I believe that angry people are like that because of resent they
have from things that are currently occuring or perhaps something in the past which they
experienced, something which they have carried with them for a very long time. I believe
some of these people even forget why they were so angry for in the first place to the point
where there is no way of resolving it since its forgotten, therefore they permanently stick
that way.

Well, its something which we will never really find out about nor will we be able to fix it.
Fact of life, there are cranky and angry people out there but we just have to accept them
for the way they are. And I have to face them for another 3-4 weeks =.=

311009

2010-07-18T05:39:00.000-07:00

So far, Ive had three summer breaks. For each one that passes me by, something sad
always happens. I cant imagine why would such a happy time like summer would be
a time when I will be at my worst and when I feel at my lowest. However this summer
I must admit has got to be the worst. I have had many dark chapters in my life but none
as depressing or lonely as this.

Its just that when I let someone in, I etch or carve a part of them into my heart and
in high hopes wishing they were here to stay. However when things dont go well,
I have to scratch away the surface to remove the etches thus it becomes a little
smaller everytime that happens. I guess now I know how some people become
heartless.

I guess algebra has nothing on this.

People say that time heals all wounds, but people didnt tell me that time will take
its time. I guess I will just have to bear with it and be strong. Last summer I had
you to care for me and to bring me back on my feet. I guess now I have no one...

Between Complexity and Reality

2010-07-08T06:11:00.000-07:00

Life, its mostly like algebra. It seems complex and difficult, but when you do it you
soon realise that it is fairly simple. It only seems hard because it looks different,
having numbers side by side with letters makes it seem very intimidating and almost
impossible to do. Its just that sometimes in life, we do not wanna try new things or
meet certain people because we find the negative in most things first due to the caution

we adopted from past experiences. Its only when we get out of our comfort zone when

we tell ourselves "Hey this doesn't seem too bad, I can get used to this."

Just like my current job im taking up in an auditing firm. I have never worked a

single day in my life before(excluding small time jobs). It was completely out of my
comfort zone for a variety of reasons. Number one, Im extremely bad with numbers,
the idea of doing auditing is a complete nightmare for me. Number two, meeting new
people: being the introvert I am, having the luxury of long time friends around me all
the time does not help being in a firm full of strangers. Number three, I have never
worked, never intended to anytime soon and here I am. Facing long hours at work
and doing tedious tasks.

Well, it didnt seem too bad. I never remained nervous for too long at first. Although
I may be bad with numbers, but I had alot of helpful seniors helping me as I audited
each company. After 3 weeks of work everything looks dandy and I finally have at
least some control over things. As for the second reason, people here are actually quite
friendly. They may be speaking mandrin half the time but atleast they are not bossy
in any way and the are kinda funny too. As for the third reason, working seems ok to
me. I dont mind doing tedious stuff and I seem to be self motivated which suprises
myself.

Most things always seem hard at first but after a while, or maybe even immediatly
you realise that nothing is completely out of reach. You have to give everything a try
before you make stereotypical and judgemental assumptions on things. Its good to
get out of your comfort zone once in a while, only then will you realise that your
comfort zone much bigger compared to what you once thought. :)

Summer Breeze

2010-06-09T07:58:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, Im currently back in Penang. I drove down yesterday and here I am
now. Its nice to be back home after so long, it feels as though I dont live here anymore,
but Im getting used to living under one roof with my family once again. Even after 4
months being away from home, I realise that some things do change while others will
always remain the same. Its great to be home, I guess...

I got back from the Hong Kong trip not long ago and it was quite ok. The trip involved
rushing to several locations around HK and Shen Zhen. We got the chance to see most
of HK and Shen Zhen. However in Shen Zhen I didnt like the tourguide too much as he
boasted and talked about a supermarket somewhere around the area before dropping
us there. It was a china equivalent of a Tesco and we were there for 2 hours. However
overall the trip is good. I had a lot of fun and got most of my friends souvenirs, not all
however. Had some financial difficulties before the trip haha.

If asked about HK and Shen Zhen, I would say its a place where it is developing really
fast and people there are much more hip and modern than I have previously perceived.
The one thing similar about these two locations are that they both are haven for those
who enjoy a good bargain and shopping for cheap stuff. Transportation here is much
better compared to Malaysia. In Malaysia, the KTM from Kajang to Midvalley takes
45 minutes. The train in HK takes the same amount of time to go to China. Malaysia
boleh! It is also a place where people seem to be always stepping on your foot and
walking off as though nothing had happened. The food however is quite unique there
in certain ways which makes it good, because it is something else and it tastes good.
Many thanks to Jermaine for the hardwork she has put into the planning and organizing.

Since I will be in Penang for about 3 months plus I will be doing internship either in
PWC or Deloitte, that is if I get accepted in. If anyone has any suggestions regarding
job offers please do let me know, thanks :). As for now Ill start looking around and
applying. I need the experience and the work ethic Ive missed out on wasted holidays
spent on gaming and virtually doing nothing. Well thats about it for now, will update
again soon :)

I miss you dear, its such a pain for me to be here without you :(

High Time

2010-05-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, sorry no updates lately due to the exams. However, I have one more
important paper tomorrow and a rather insignificant one on the 27th. So I shall
declare myself pseudo free from tomorrow onwards. Honestly I cant wait for this
paper to end so I can get my well deserved sleep and perhaps spend time watching
all the movies Ive missed out. Movies Ive missed out on:
1) Iron Man2
2)Ip Man 2
3) Nightmare on Elm street
4) Clash of the Titans
5) Kick Ass

There are probably more but Im not sure what movies are out there currently, this
shows how unupdated I am regarding the movie scene lol. Anybody out there who
for some funny reason hasnt watched Iron Man 2 yet? Nobody will watch it with me
cos everyone else watched it and the others who hasnt think its lame :(. Well its either
that or Im just gonna go buy some dvds

After exams Ill be heading to Hong Kong for a short holiday. Really looking forward to
that because Ive never been anywhere overseas with my friends before hehe and of
course someone special. I kinda need this short vacation because Ive been through
two academic semesters simultaneously and it wont take long before I go through
burn-out lol. After that Ill be driving back to Penang with ah Pui(haha kidding Kwen).
Well thank God for that if not ill be all alone going back home.

Speaking about home Im kinda home sick cos its been awhile since I was in Penang.
It kinda sucks because the last time I got back I didnt do much and didnt really get
to hang out with my friends. Well it wont be long, only two weeks from now hehe. When
I get back Im probably gonna look for a job. Hopefully one with reasonable pay because
I want to earn some extra pocket money. Internship and experience is for next year
I guess. This would be the only summer where I get would get the opportunity to earn
some cash. Ive never really worked long term before, so I guess this would too be a first.

Despite the fact that Ill be heading back to Penang, Ill be stopping by KL every once in
a while as well. Hopefully my job schedule wouldnt be too tight and Ill be able to do my
own things as well. Ill be coming down for Pc fair, hopefully to meet up with my secondary
school friends and of course to visit her. Sometime during this long 4 month summer
holiday Ill be heading to Thailand with a friend as well, not really planned out yet, but
its gonna happen on a random day lol! Hope it works out, kinda looking forward to some
road trips during the summer. It'll just be wrong not having road trips :(

Anyway its only during exam periods where you feel a sense of escapism where you wanna
do everything else but study. Why is it that during the exam period, there are many other
things to do aside from studying, but during the holidays there always seems to be nothing
to do. Well I guess, a psychology case study is at hand, but neh whose free enough. Next
academic semester its gonna different hopefully, its kinda frustrating having everything
done last minute, its very demoralizing. Next semester will be officially graded for my
degree. No more fooling around I guess.

Its just kinda sad that my first year is finally coming to an end. Its the only time to ever
have fun and probably to slightly slack a bit on studies, but I guess its over now. Time to
get serious, sigh :(

Alright time for some sleep before my paper tmr then Im free! Cant wait..

Econology

2010-04-25T07:58:00.000-07:00

Exams are closing in and here I am blogging lol. I dont know why but I just
feel compelled to update this blog despite the lack of readers. I guess I live
in a world with an imaginary audience who actively bothers to read this blog
and stalk me lol. To those who are loyal to this blog please give me a shoutout
in my cbox just so I know that Im not crazy haha. Sometimes I feel like through
updating this blog im somewhat talking to myself and catering to no one. Prove
me wrong people! lol..

For the past few days Ive been reading Psychology and Economics. Not a very
good combination as they do not complement each other AT ALL. So its kinda
messing up my brain abit. How I wish in a way that you could apply psychology
into economics, such as brainwashing people to increase demand and brainwashing
workers to increase supply. That would be a cool way of applying psychology.
Sadly psychology is not really about brainwashing people FYI, its more about
understanding why people behave in certain ways and how we can help them cope.

Been reading up on neurotic people, and I can really relate to that. I know so
many people who fit under that criteria and I finally understand why they
behave that way lol. The fun part about psychology is that it applies to everyday
real life and it can be related to you or people around you. Although it is a pain
in the ass to read, it is actually kinda interesting and it makes perfect sense
of certain things in life that we are often confused about. Haha and sometimes
you can put people in certain categories, categories of the mentally ill that is :p

New housemate moved in btw. Poor fella doesnt have a laptop and is really
bored LOL! Earlier he was literally walking around the house looking into drawers,
opening the store room door and staring at empty space. Not too long ago he decided
to do the dishes haha. Well, thats how I felt when I first moved in. I had a laptop but
not internet! :(

Gonna go back to study la.. Quite worried dy :((

@__@

2010-04-19T09:47:00.000-07:00

This picture cheers me up alot sometimes. It can mean many things to many
different people. Its true that the same thing may look completely different to

two different people. What does it mean to you?

Fast Forward

2010-04-18T07:47:00.001-07:00

This blog has been officially been pronounced dead, but not to worry Im

gonna bring it back :). Ive not been updating this blog lately because I
have been busy with quite a lot of things lately to the point where I forgot
I even had a blog lol. Not to worry, Ill abandon this blog when I say it, for
now Im gonna try and keep the updates flowing.

Ive been really busy this month, especially with assignments. But Ive handed
in all my assignments already and Ive entered my study break. Although my
exams are in 3 weeks time, I havent really started. Lol, Im starting tomorrow,
I swear. Got quite a lot of theory subjects but Id choose that over maths any
day. Psychology is interesting, but I hope I dont screw it up again =(. My
confidence towards the subject isnt exactly very high.

This semester has whizzed by really quickly, and it feels like its just been a
month. The whole of first year felt like it was all under one semester as
we had both sem 1 and sem 2 continuously with just really short breaks
in between. This semester was kinda fun, but too much fun to be honest. Im
gonna work my ass off during these 3 weeks to compensate for all the lost time.
I dont like this :(.

Im gonna work this summer, dad says he is gonna find someone for me within
the HR field of atleast the psych field to take me in as an intern. Im kinda looking
forward to that because Ive not had real work experience before. I want a taste
of the discipline of the workforce and the feelings of being rewarded by pay. I know
its not gonna be easy and its not gonna be fun and games but I wanna experience
it. The pay isnt all that hot for interns though. Well, gotta go through that like it
or not.

Yesterday was the birthday of someone really dear to me. Im so glad to see the
smile on her face :). It made all the planning and coordinating worth it. Im glad that
everything went smoothly thanks to the help of everyone especially Jermaine, the
brains behind the operation hehe. Happy birthday dear :)

What lies ahead 2

2010-03-26T21:00:00.000-07:00

I once said in this blog that nothing in life lasts forever, and that we should
not delve into the past or look into the future. I dont really know why I said it
but in a way I was afraid of it as well. I was afraid of the future, because
future means change. I like the way things are right now, and I liked the
way things were back then but I guess everyone is susceptible to life
changes. Changes are barriers to many things, they get in the way of
our way of life, but it does not mean that we cant change change. Yes, that
wasnt a typo, Im talking about changing change. Modifying it in a way to
accomodate us and suit it towards the way we want it. However in order
to do this, you require some motivation and support. Its obvious that not
everyone can go through change alone, someone else needs to be there
for you when it does come. If you face change alone, you realise that you
will be more alone than ever.

You cant expect things to be the way you want it to be, you cant expect
life to be a bed of thornless roses. But you can make things the way you
want it to be, all that is needed is a push or a drive of some sort to carry
forward. If things dont turn out the way you expect it to be, you can
always make use of what you already have, instead if giving up everything
all together. Nothing in life ever comes easy for anyone, life isnt fair to
anyone. If you give up when something seems almost impossible to you,
you might as well give up on everything else. It is strange how us humans
can strive so hard to achieve our goals, but when it comes down to something
else important such as keeping someone by your side, they just barely even
try.

It is infact very depressing when you look into the future, because it only
seems bleak and colourless. But that is only because some of us look at it
that way. If we always expect the worse to happen, and make our own
conclusions about a negative future, then our future will turn out as a
really lousy one. You reap what you sow and the future will turn out the
way you want it to be. However, not all hope is lost. If you look into the
future more positively, and be more optimistic, it will turn out the way you
want it to be. This one of the steps one must take in order to change change.

So babe, why choose to be sad for what is about to come? Why cant we
look into things more positively from now on? I cant be the only one that
is being optimistic. I need you as well, to be there by my side encouraging
me to look forward to what lies ahead for both us. I know that I said that
nothing lasts forever, but you changed my perspective. Without you I
would have never seen things that way. I would have always been the
negative person I always was, I am no longer the pessimist I always was.
Im so sorry for making you think the way I did before. Im just too afraid
to admit that I was so terrified by the change that might happen to us.
But im not afraid anymore, because you are the only one I rather be with,
and my only biggest fear, more than anything else is losing you. Im so so,
sorry for all the things Ive said, I wish I could take it all back and replaced
them with nicer words. I know that you are not in a really good mood right
not, but babe, can you atleast think about it? Will you please forgive me?

I love you

Pembetulan

2010-03-12T06:54:00.000-08:00

Dear friends, today I shall take a drastic step to resolve a problem we
have been having for a very long time. We'll it isnt exactly a very big
problem but Im just gonna help anyways. This post will be dedicated
to curing cinaism(cina.ism). Well what is cinaism you ask? Its when
our beloved english language is spoken wrongly in a way where it
changes the meaning(not the grammar). The grammar is for your
english teacher to correct not me. Im not here to poke fun at
anybody but just to make people aware of the mistakes they make
without even noticing it and hopefully they will change it.

Well for one thing, those who have this cinaism problem, they tend
to assume that words that sound the same have the same meaning.
Im not sure where they get this idea but let me show you some examples.

OMG~~~ I have splits ants!
The correct way of saying this would be:
Omg, I have split ends.

I will have a burger instant la~~~ ^.^
The correct way of saying this would be:
I'll have a burger instead

WhAt SnAKES You HaVE GoT~~~?
The correct way of saying this would be:
What snacks do you have?

I have put in so much afford, but all in vains leh, haihx..
The correct way of saying this would be:
I have put in so much effort, but it was all in vain, sigh.

I hurt what you said earlier, plx away!
The correct way of saying this would be:
I heard what you said earlier, please go away!

There are more seriously, if I write further it will become case sensitive lol.
Anyways those with cinaism also tend to make words plural for no apprent
reason. Im not sure why they do this but let me show you guys some and
give the appropriate corrections.

HEY GUYS ^___^ I really appreciates your helping*~*~
The correct way of saying this would be:
Hey guys, I really appreciate your help.

Thank for your helps, hehe.
The correct way of saying this would be:
Thanks for your help, hehe.

I will going backs later a bit.
The correct way of saying this would be:
I will go back a bit later.

ThaNk GodS My ExAM OvEr oLeDI!
The correct way of saying this would be:
Thank God my exam is over already.

Well, thats not all. Some sentences are just way beyond repair, to the point
where the mistakes identified are too many. These errors are quite common
and are commonly seen around.

I am so BORINGGGGGGGGgg
The correct way of saying this would be:
Im bored.

The thing about the sentence above is, the meaning has been completely changed.
You are trying to say that you're bored, but the sentence really means that you
are trying to tell the world that you're a boring person. Dont get it wrong.

My time table is so screwed up, but I try synchronise!
The correct way of saying this would be:
no correction available

One thing about those with cinaism is that when they watch a movie or hear
someone say a nice sounding word, they tend to use it without understanding
its meaning or the way it is used. It is a good effort that some people try
impressing others by using big words, but if these big words are used wrongly
and used in improperly structured sentences they are of no value and you make
yourself look silly because its a waste of a perfectly big word.

Well, I shall stop here. I shall once again stress that this post was never inteneded
to poke fun at anyone, haha who am I kidding?! LOL! Well, I hoped it helped. The
sentences above were taken from wall posts and blogs, these sentences were edited
to prevent humiliation of others. Spank you.

Heavy World

2010-03-03T05:44:00.000-08:00

When you are out somewhere public, like in campus, by the streets,
in the shopping malls, or wherever and watch the vast numbers of
daily strangers that pass by, do you ever feel curious about their
stories? Well, lets take a look from this point of view. Everyone has
their own story about their life, nobody's life is ever boring or dull,
everyone has been through life experiences and have their own
stories to either tell or keep it to themselves.

For instance, you see an old frail woman by the market side, do you
ever wonder what's her story? What someone as old as her has been
through, the amount of happy times she had, the amount of heartbreaks
she went through, the amount of people she met, the amount of people
she has lost, the change she saw through time, the experience she had
with someone special or the time she spent alone and much much more.
Sometimes I feel this way whenever I see my grandma. Of course my
grandma wasnt always my grandma, she used to be a teenager too. She
might have been through the things Ive went through before, she might
have deep dark secrets as well like everyone else.

Ever wondered what someone's story is like? People like our friends,
our parents, our lecturers, the guy who delivers your newspaper, the
guy who owns your favourite restaurant, your maid and people who
we see everyday but never took notice of. Everyone has their own
story, experiences and secrets. I believe if you walk down the
crowded street and just pick a random stranger out of a crowd and
get him or her to tell you their life story. Im sure it will definitely
beat any drama movie you have ever watched. Regardless of how
boring the person's job is or how mundane his life is, there was a point
in that person's life that he actually went through something great
or sad.

By now you're probably wondering why Im writing all this bullshit
out. What Im trying to say is, try looking at your own life story. Reflect
on what you have been through and you would realise that life is great
isnt it? Try looking digging through your memory and bring out all the
life stories you had. It wont apply for everyone because they might have
a bad past, but look at the present, isnt the future beautiful? Even at my age
I will probably be able to tell you loads of stories, the happy times Ive been
through, the sad times Ive been through, interesting things that happened
to me, people who I have met, the amount of times Ive felt love, the amount
of times Ive been through heartache and the list goes on. My point is, if you
think your life is boring now just wait and see, more stories will come your
way.

Shadowless

2010-02-23T10:20:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid around 5 years old, my parents brought a mongrel dog
back home which we would fondly call Cookie. Cookie was a puppy during
that time and she grew up to be a petite sized dog. Cookie was a really
affectionate dog, but it was mostly fierce towards strangers but is able
to sense when a person is a friend. Most visitors who came to my house
would remember this dog because of its friendly nature, even people who
wouldnt take a second look at dogs couldnt turn away from Cookie.

Cookie was a real fighter. She survived various illness and she survived
several fights she had with my other dogs and she fought with stray dogs
that wander too close to my compound as well. In most of the fights she
would lose because of her small size but that never really deterred her
from fighting on. After each fight she would be bleeding, but never profusely.
She would usually limp slowly to a corner at my car porch and lick her
wounds. We never really had to send her to the vet because the next
day itself she would be up and running again, fighting again.

The sad part is I had this dog for so long, I thought I would see her end,
but that was not to be. Around late 2007 Cookie suddenly disappeared,
without a trace. We tried looking for her around the neighbourhood,
calling her name helplessly but she was no where to be found. I remember
that day well, my maid prepared dinner for the dog, but couldnt find her
anywhere around the house. After our unfruitful search, I went back to
my room to sleep. I remembered it rained so hard that night, filled with
thunder and lightning. I couldnt sleep that night, thinking she was out
there alone in the dark cold night. I never prayed so hard before.

Till this day, what happened to Cookie remains a mystery to me. Its sad
really because I never really took a lot of pictures of this dog. Infact, my
memory of how this dog looks like is starting to decay. Sigh, but Ill never
forget how strong this dog was despite its small size. The thing is, sometimes
I would ponder about what had happened to her. Might she still be alive?
Was she taken? Was she roadkill? I guess I'll never find out. You must
think that Im a real fool for having such feelings towards a dog, but I dont care.
I fight for what I feel is right and what I truly love. The image above is how
she looks like to me in my memories now, roughly anyways. Ill never forget
you Cookie. =)

Abra Cadabra

2010-02-16T07:28:00.000-08:00

Grat.i.tude
Function: noun
Definition: The state of being grateful
THANKFULNESS

When you ponder at the word gratitude, what comes to your mind first? Well,
for most of us its simple, it's saying thank you after someone helped you or gave
you something. It is a fact that most of us are very capable of showing gratitude,
but some of us don't realise that gratitude is a must in our social world. Im sure
most of you know a friend or two who are not well known for their gratitude. To
whoever whose reading this, you yourself may not even know that you have the
decency to say those two magical words to whoever.

Its fair enough that you may say thanks to your friends, but do you say it to your
parents? Do you say it to your teachers? Do you even say it at all? The thing about
us is, when we receive something too often, we tend to appreciate it less and forget
about the people gave it to us. Let's look into an example, lets say since you have no
car your friend usually picks you up and sends you to outings. The first few times
you might say thanks and be appreciative, but after a while you get used to it. You
eventually forget to say thanks, and if your friend arrives late you might even get
angry. You see, the scope changes. At the start you know your friend is doing you
a favor, and now you think your friend OWES you a favor. Remember never to
forget whoever you are, keep the gratitude you had at the beginning towards the
end. That way your friends will know that you appreciate them and wont see you
as a liability(parasite). And for heaven's sake, please be sincere.

Of course, gratitude is more than just please and thank you. You can do certain things
such as returning the favor or doing a good gesture towards a friend who just helped
you as a sign of gratitude. Lets take the driver friend example again. Let's say you know
that your friend is picking you up early tomorrow morning, you can show some gratitude
by atleast getting your ass up early in the morning and get ready before he or she arrives.
Since your friend has taken the trouble to pick you up, atleast be sincere enough not to
keep your friend waiting. After all, why should your friend wait for you when he's driving
right? Does he owe you a favor? I dont think so right? You dont even need the slightest
bit of insight to find that out for yourself, you twit.

You can also show those who have helped you a lot with gratitude by giving them your
respect. Helpful friends are not to be taken advantage of, and should be treated well
for their kindness. Ask only for their help when truly necessary, dont push it. If you
have the opportunity to take the bus without having your friend to make a detour,
take it. Dont be such a hassle to the people around you, or you may come to find out
that people will start avoiding you, or bad-mouthing you. For all you may know, it
might just.. be... happening.... right..... now......

Of course, this applies to many other situations aside from taking rides from your
friends. If you owe people money, take the initiative to remember and pay them back.
Dont make them look for you. If you have borrowed something from someone, return
it back. The fact that that person doesnt remember doesnt mean you can keep it! If
your friend cheered you up after something bad happened, be thankful, dont continue
looking for that person only when ure sad and pouring it all on him or her. Depression is
infectious, trust me. When receiving something from your parents, open your gap and
say thanks. The fact that you are their child, doesnt mean they owe you anything, you
didnt earn it. The fact that you didnt choose them doesnt mean they CHOSE you.

As for those who are incapable of showing gratitude or just uttering a sincere thanks, I
look down on you. You are insects among humans, more like parasites. Goodnight.

Cny Blues

2010-02-14T07:54:00.000-08:00

Chinese new year for me every year is a special time of the year where
I mostly spend time with my family and friends. I have fond memories
of almost every new year spent and its been real fun. Its one of those
times of the year where you're in the mood for some boozing and gambling,
having annual dinners with the family, and going out late after dinner
with friends. Nothing beats that routine.

As for yesterday(now the day before yesterday, since it's past midnight)
I went for an annual prayer to 7 of Penang's temples. Yeah I know, thats
ALOT of temples to go to. But it isnt exactly as pain staking as it sounds,
all we do is get one of those huge joss sticks, light it up and mount it on one
of the stands provided infront of the temple. The only reason why it takes
so long is because of the legions of people who come every year, making
prayers to the Gods for health and wealth. What more can you ask for eh?

The one thing about going to these 7 temples every year is I get to see
chinese culture in Penang at its best. The thing about our culture is I dont
really look into it all year round, so yeah once a year is fair enough for me.
Going to the temples makes all 5 of your senses go into overdrive, first you see
the vast array of colours, chiefly red all over the place. The golden designs
of dragons and what not, dieties lined with offerings in front of them, and
DONT laugh, chicks too. Believe it or not, chicks go to temples too, hordes
of them. Next your nose is tingled and slightly annoyed by the heavy smell
of incense everywhere and smoke coming from the vast amounts of joss
paper being burnt. Through your ears, you can hear the loud drummings
and clashing of cymbals within the temple walls, loud chatter of people
and fireworks from a distance. Walking towards the dieties you can feel
heat from the large fires from the concrete furnaces used to burn offerings
and extra joss sticks. As for taste, I had an eclipse mint in my mouth, not
gonna be a smart ass on that part :p

I am not going to ramble further about my temple hopping escapade as
I would have to make this post extremely draggy. Another thing about
chinese new year is that, the people who you spend it with every year.
Aside from family, the one thing I noticed every year is that the friends
I spend new year with are different every year. There are of course some
old ones but most of the time new ones. Only through cny do I notice that
people that we were once so close with eventually become strangers or
hi bye friends, which is kinda sad. But of course, there will always be new
people waiting to be friends. Only through photographs do I see the happy
times, but that isnt entire true. Why cant this present moment be a happy
time? I leave that for you to judge. I dont need the past to bring back good
feelings, instead I appreciate the present and look forward to the future.

is there a light?

2010-02-12T08:47:00.000-08:00

Im currently back in Penang now, Ive been home for about 3 days already
and I'll be back to KL on the 20th. This new year break is a very short one
for it only lasts for about 10 days when in fact the cny holiday usually lasts
for about two weeks or more. Its kinda disappointing because usually every
cny is the best holiday for me because most friends are back during that
time and we have a blast enjoying this holiday, unlike other holidays when
everyone comes back on different times of the year.

However this year, its just not going to be that way as most of my friends
are still overseas or are already heading back. To add up with that this year
everyone is busy with their own things. So yeah, I can honestly say Im kinda
marooned on this island. For once Im actually not looking forward to coming
home. Its a real bitter disappointment this year coming home and Im not
exactly looking forward to the next few coming days as I will probably be filled
with boredom. Sigh.

Ive been out twice so far and on both occasions something comes up and
I ended up feeling like I shouldnt have gone out anyways. Damn the blardy
weather. It has been so hot lately, Ive never been pissed due to the weather

before but GRR its been so freaking hot lately. Fuck global warming, its
already happening. Well, I hoped that it would have rained lately but of
course I would end up being disappointed. However tonight, it JUST HAD
to rain while I was out at the BEACH. Wtf. Sigh....

To add up with that, no one seems to be in the new year mood. Everyone
seems so pissy and angry lately. Its as though there is no one cheery or
in good mood to talk to. What happened to HAPPY chinese new year?
Maybe its due to the stupid weather we have been having lately, Im not
exactly in the best of moods as well. Disappointing, really....

Before the holiday had started I really looked forward to coming home
as i have been away for nearly 4 months now. I needed a much deserved
break because I didnt have any holidays after my previous exams. Well,
this is my break I guess. Not what I expected really, but I guess I have to

make the best of it. Sigh......

20

2010-02-08T08:55:00.001-08:00

I had my birthday celebration a few days back and honestly I can say its the
best for me. Well, every year is of course the best, but this year was somewhat
special. I didnt have one, not two but three celebrations this year and I was
stuffed with loads of cake, yummy! haha.

At the stroke of midnight, some creepy stuff unfolded in my rented home. First
Jessy, suspiciously led me to my room while talking on the phone with her,
saying that she wanted to tell me something. During that time when we were
conversing, suddenly the normal noisy atmosphere of my humble abode went
silent. Suspicious, but I kept my cool. There were some heavy footsteps going
around outside, and noisy rustlings of plastic bags. SUDDENLY! The power got
cut, woah freaky, but I kept my cool. I walked out of my room into the dark
living room, where there was a loud knocking on my unlocked from door to my
right, while I saw firelight casted on the wall coming from the kitchen on my
left. Which way should I have went? Haha, trying not to be an ass I opened the
front door for my neighbour(the diversion) while my friends popped out from
the kitchen with the cake. Thanks for the suprise guys, nearly there haha.
What happened after that I wont go into detail. It involves some projectiles haha.

The next day was a normal birthday celebration at Pizza hut. Where I later had
an early valentines celebration at my place :).

On the third day, another suprise unfolded. I was led around Midvalley aimlessly
with an empty stomach by Jess. She used every psychological card on me and she
played them very well, oh my cunning foxy mama ;). Well this time I really received
a shock when we finally walked into a restaurant. TGI fridays. There were some
creepy people hiding their faces with menus. AND BEHOLD, my friends were there
once again. A second suprise. What a shocker, and two special unexpected guests too
Sze Lin and Zhi Yuen. HAHA Kwen FFK LOL!!! Anyways I was seriously pleasently
suprised and really happy too see all of you there :). Well, as gratitude I had to sing
for them infront of the restaurant. NICE............. =/
Spent the rest of the day with my only one after that :) thanks babe :)

Well, I received quite a few nice gifts this year and some "interesting" ones
too. I would like to extend thanks to those who wished me and gave me presents.
Thanks Jessy for the bag, Ill use it till my dying days haha :). Thanks Minnie, Stef,
Kenneth, Jermaine, Terk, Adrian, Sze Jin, Neighbour, Sze Lin, Zhi Yuen, Shi Fang
Tze Yi, Bryan and sorry to anyone who Ive missed out for the cake and the other
gifts as well. Really appreciate it guys :D

A special thanks to Kwen. Jess is going to kill you bro! LOL!!!

Anyways turning 20 is something surreal to me. The first digit of my age has
changed, like for GOOD. Ive been pondering about this lately and I cant help
but feel old I guess. I know its the peak of my life, but I can honestly say, all that
teenage bullshit is way behind me lol. Well lets see the significance of this age shall
we?

1) I have 1 more year to grow
2) 1 more year to freedom
3) 1 more year before all the cells in my body are completely replaced
4) 1 year away from being a teen
5) 1 year into being an adult

In my opinion, I dont really care about growing up, or attaining my freedom. The
only thing I look forward to being 20 is still having my friends and family by my side.
20 years I have set foot on this dusty planet Ive made many regrets, alot of mistakes
ups and downs bla bla bla, the same old cliche shit coming back again. But honestly
if I could turn back time, I wouldnt. Because I wouldnt have learnt from my mistakes,
be where I currently stand and I wouldnt be who I am today. As for those who stood
beside me, those who are currently by my side and even to those who I dont speak with
anymore, I would like to extend another thanks to all of you, for making me who I am
today.

Before I blew those candles out, I only had a single wish, that you'll be by my side, now and always

Fantasy comes alive?

2010-02-06T22:04:00.000-08:00

hap.pi.ness
function: noun
1: good fortune
2: state of well being and contentment
3: JOY: a pleasurable or satisfying experience

Have you ever wondered what is the true meaning of happiness? How do you
attain it? In my opinion most people don't even know how it feels like because
they are too busy or too naive to notice. Most people would misplace other
insignificant feelings with happiness. In a nutshell, they won't even notice it
even if it hit them right in the face.

In life everyone is in this wild hunt, a pursuit if you may, for happiness(I know, very cliche).
Everyone wants to be happy, no? Of course! Its in our nature to seek gratification
and avoid unwanted feelings. Only crazy people in life would always want to be
sad and angry. So what makes us happy? What gives us the feeling of satisfaction,
pleasure and contentment? Well to some people the source of happiness comes
from fast cars, designer clothes, that new handphone that just came out, a laptop
with great specs, that mouth-watering cake, getting good results, allowance from
our parents and so much more.

Wouldn't you be happy if you had any of the above? Eventhough everyone has
different sources of happiness but why not right? However if you noticed, the points
mentioned aboved are of course sources of happiness, but only temporarily. Why?
Well, a new laptop is of course a new laptop! But eventually life goes on, after all
its just a laptop right? However, there is a drive within us and urge if you may, that
keeps us wanting more. We will never be satisfied with what we have and carry on
demanding for more material possesions(happiness in the form of objects). It is a
fact that we cannot be satisfied with what we have and within a certain period of
time we would want ANOTHER handphone, ANOTHER laptop and perhaps
A NEW car, the latest of course. Its simple human nature that we cannot cure.

Well, does that mean that happiness is only temporary? Not necessarily. Happiness
in my opinion, is something that most of us take for granted. We constantly concentrate
on the THINGS we want so badly, to the point we fail to notice the PEOPLE we already
have. Material objects will often be cast aside and replaced but the people in our lives
remain in our hearts forever. Well we fail to notice that the people, who are always
by our side are the ones that makes us happiest. We are so used to it that we take them
for granted and give credit to material possesions for our happiness. Well who are these
people? To some of us it may be our best friend, a lover, our parents or even our pets.

As for me, I have an unlimited source of happiness and it took we a while to realise,
self actualization if you will. Well, I really cherish my source and I protect it dearly. I
can't stand life without it as the world only seems empty and colourless without it.
Nothing can light up and electrify every fiber of my body like she does. She's my goldmine,
of infinite happiness the rainbow at the end of the dark violent storm. Life seems only
incomplete without her. My pursuit for happiness is finally over. Time to stop chasing
in life and start appreciating. ILY babe :)

What lies ahead

2010-01-26T06:48:00.000-08:00

The future is always unknown to us as it is very hard to determine. The future
isnt't exactly very arithmetic and maths orientated. You cant calculate the future,
and come up with a random figure that determines how your future will turn
out and see if it goes the way you want it. The future of our lives cannot be
determined by science. There are no relevant theories or experiments that can
determine our future. Its just not possible, and looking into the future just seems
to be a very pointless thing to do. Yes it is good to think about what to do in the
future and what is good for it but never good to expect how you want it to be.

Expectation is something that humans shouldnt adopt. You cant expect things to
go your way. You cant expect money and power to go your way. You cant expect
people to behave the way you want. Just dont expect anything! Expectation
definitely reduces joy as it disappoints more often than it does the opposite. When
we look into the future we tend to expect something to be like this or like that, but
what we dont realise is that we are just burdening ourselves with our thoughts and
in the long run create stress or maybe depression due to fear that what we expect
to be the worse comes true. But when it does come, we usually have a sigh of relief
as we always overestimate things and overeact when we try to predict the future.
So why go through all that stress for to begin with?

What is there to expect in the future? How will our futures turn out? In my opinion
the future means change. Everyday we go through indefinite change without fail. It
is just inevitable. So what kind of change do we go through? Is it a change for the better
or is it for the worst? Does the future look bright, sunny and filled with rainbows? Or
does the future seem dark, colourless, cold and bleak? Whatever it is in the future, I
feel it is best to leave it alone and enjoy the gift that God gives us day to day which
our present.

It just seems so depressing to look into the future if we expect it to be a bad one. When
we keep thinking about it we tend be stressed up or sad. So why go through all that pain
for? If we keep thinking about the lousy future ahead, how do we enjoy our present? So
is sadness something that is indefinite? In my opinion, sadness and happiness is always
in the short-run. There is no such thing as a happily ever after, those are based on
movies and stories that are meant to bring up the hopes of children, not us. This is because
in life we go through alot of obstacles where we will expect them to be coming in the future.

So why choose to be sad over what is about to come? Be happy for what is already here,
although it is only in the short-run, enjoy and savour the moments when we are happy.
In the future friends may leave, relationships may fail, you may move somewhere else,
people change and people die. So why worry about these when you can enjoy what is already
here. Dont take what you currently have for granted as it may all disappear and pass you by
in the future. Hold on to what you have and cherish them for as long as you can, as nothing
in this perfect world, not even diamonds last forever(thats bullshit). Dont live in the past
or the future, enjoy the present and live like there is no tomorrow...

Brick

2010-01-25T05:11:00.000-08:00

Exams ended 4 days ago and class is starting tomorrow. Ain't life a bitch?
due to the shortage of free time after the exams Ive been out all four days.
Four long days of outings and i must admit Im slightly refreshed but still
not entirely willing to start off the new semester just yet. But Ill get my
lazy ass up soon enough, just need some form of extrinsic motivation.

I will be in Penang from the 10th till the 17th. Not much time to spend
CNY but atleast Ill make it home. I have never missed a single chinese
new year for the past 19 years of my life and I dont intend to. Its that
"magical" time of the year where I can get some extra cash, plus its also
the time where I can pig out at various reunions and not feel a single bit
of guilt or remorse.. SUCKLING PIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGgg muahaha...

I will update a more interesting post soon enough. Quite tired now as I
had another long day. It has been like that for the past for days and I
really enjoy spending time with you. Only you can put a genuine unremovable
smile from my face. My ultimate source of happiness, I miss you :)

Newton Never Felt This Way

2010-01-17T09:25:00.000-08:00

The tree in this story resembles our parents
think about it.

Debentures

2010-01-12T07:59:00.000-08:00

I know Ive been neglecting this blog for awhile, but I have an excuse. Im having my
finals right now and I just finished my first paper today. I have 4 more papers to go
before I get my freedom! That will be about 9 days time. After my exams, I have quite
a number of things I plan to get done.

1) Clean my room up

2) Clean the living room up

3) Wash my car

4) Wash stoner

5) Get wasted, I need to release some stress

6) Spend some free non-stress time with you

7) Fill my cupboard up with loads of snacks

8) Hit to the gym again, gonna get more intense

9) Prepare a cardio schedule

10) Archive last semester's notes

11) Get my car number plate fixed

12) do a card

13) Update this blog

14) Search myself a nice new handphone

There is probably more in the list but I hate to bore you. Cant wait for the papers
to end though. Its back to study I guess, all the best to everyone.

2009--->2010

2010-01-01T00:16:00.000-08:00

Happy new year everyone, it has been fun and now its time for a new year
to step in. I all of you luck and all the best this year

This has been somewhat of a Rogue year to me. It has treated me in a cruel manner
as it has been an extremely bad year for me, but of course the are the good fortunes
which made this year one of the best years for me as well. Of all 19 years of my life
none of them has been as life changing as this one. Ive been through so much shit, had
the worse of luck and yet the year ended with a happy note. I will never forget 2009,
especially Halloween ;)

Here are the pictures, I love you all... :)

2028

2009-12-30T07:48:00.000-08:00

Time for a completely useless post not regarding myself...
Alright ladies and gentlemen, with today's amount of outbreaks and epidemics such
as bird flue, SARS, H1N1 and even in the past they had the plague. With epidemics
hitting the human race generation by generation, the likely effects of a zombie outbreak
seems probable. Go ahead and laugh, but would you be prepared when it happens when
you least expect it? Do you think you would survive? Here are some tips for the survival
of 2010!

First of all, when an outbreak occurs, of course you would need to depend on the help of
others to survive as well. It is a fact that you cant do it alone, and teamwork is essential
for survival. However, the rule of "dont trust anybody" applies in a situation as dire as this
as it is every man for himself. So here is a list of people you might require to ensure survival.

1) The gullible friend
In order to survive a zombie epidemic, you need a gullible friend. Why so? Well, its an extra
body and he is gullible! Gullible friends have many functions, the first one is that they are
a great form of diversion. You can always coax them into diverting the attention of zombies
away from you while you can make a clean escape(his safety is not important). You can
also coax him into doing things you wouldnt dare do yourself, such as looking for food in
a creepy building and being bait. Well, in the case of being chased by a massive number
of zombies, all you have to do is be able to outrun him! not the zombies. So you can coax
him into running slower, thats if you can find such a good gullible friend.

2) The hot chick
Yeah baby! In every zombie apocalyptic world you need a hot chick by your side. In a
world overun by zombies, hot chicks somehow come in handy because the become xena
warriors with chainsaws of all a sudden for some unknown reason. So yeah she's a plus to
have cos at one point of your journey to survival she will save your life somehow. Plus,
she is better at coaxing the gullible friend anyways ;). Oh yeah, she is the only chance of
you repopulating the world.

3) The smart guy
This guy is a must, he is the one who handles all the technical stuff such as devicing strategies
, flying helicopters, busting security systems and hardwiring cars. The smart guy doesnt
survive well so learn from him what you need. He is a plus factor in survival as well, cos
even the gullible friend could outrun him in a zombie chase cos of his lesser physical state.

4) The policeman
During a mad dash out of the city, you would probably run into one of these guys. They are
dependable cos they are brave and they are armed. However this is in Malaysia, so you
might have to bribe these guys first =.= of course, he doesnt realise that money doesnt have
value anymore but just give it to him. Well, urmm you can just wait for him to get killed
so you can have his gun, car and maybe his hat

5) The dog
Dogs are very useful as the senses are way stronger than ours. They bark when those
smelly zombies are nearby and give warnings before and imminent attack. However,
you would require a smart dog that follows you around and not chase after zombies and
in turn join their already massive numbers. Plus factor in survival, if food runs out, the
dog is there. oops

In a world invaded by zombies you require some items for survival. These items can
be useful in the sense of offensive attacks, defense and for consumption. Here is a
short list of items that you might want to carry around with you.

1) A melee weapon
You would require something long, thick and pointy. Not talking about the one you guys
already have tho. Something like a long metal pole, which can be used for pushing and
hitting. Knifes are useless and you will get bitten before you can even deal any damage.

2) A gun(from the dead policeman)
Use this only when required. This is the best form of persuasion for the gullible friend.
Save one bullet because its better to die by a bullet than being torn into dozens of
pieces.

3) A bottle of liquor
This is a useful item when you are feeling cowardly. You can drink it before death is close

or you can use it to burn those undead bastards. Still, alcohol is quite valueble in an
apocalyptical world. So just down it anyways.

4) Cigarettes
Who cares about lung cancer when you are gonna die eventually? In a world filled with
death and misery why not start? Wouldnt kill anyone anyways. Plus it looks cool.

5) A stolen vehicle(hardwired by the smart guy)
Duhhhhh, you wanna walk?

6) A radio transmitter(somehow souped up by the smart guy)
To find more smart guys out there, more gullible friends and hopefully more hot chicks.

7) food, water, medikit, medicine, clothing, condoms, etc

Tips and tricks
Tips and tricks of surviving a zombie outbreak in Malaysia
1) You have bigger chance of survival if you flee to kampung areas
2) Do not stay and defend in a single area, that never works out
3) If the infection happened on a friday avoid mosques
4) If you worry about guilt, dont. Malaysians have 0 attractiveness, killing them would be easy.
5) Avoid times square and prangin mall, wouldnt wanna be killed by lala zombies @__@
6) Malaysia is a diverse country, zombies have camouflague at night
7) Ignore fat zombies, they will die of cardiac arrest anytime
8) Dont hide in jungles, if zombies dont get you, pontianaks will

to be continued

Not so lonely Christmas

2009-12-27T01:43:00.000-08:00

oIm now currently in Semenyih, I just got here by flight and taxi about 5 hours ago. My
flight was around 8am because the later flights were booked solid. Had to wake up around
5am because the airport is 45 mins from my place and I had to be at the check in counter
45mins before the boarding time. Lets just say I didnt entirely sleep early last night and I
had a hard time waking up and doing my last minute packing. I had a 5 hour nap earlier,
I really needed that.

My trip to Penang this time lasted about 9 days, and it was somehow bittersweet. I did
manage to hang out with most of my close friends but not all of them, due to some time
difficulties by both parties. Didnt really do much this time because not only did I have
limited access to the car, my friends were also busy with their own stuff such as assignments
and examinations. I didnt exactly manage to spend much time with my parents either so
this holiday was kinda sad. However, on the brightside, Jess and her sister
came down and I saw them on Christmas and boxing day, so yeah, not so sad. :)

In Penang, I managed to curb my addiction for L4D2 by finishing all the maps like twice with
my friends. Therefore I wouldnt be tempted to drive all the way to cheras to play during the
exam period. I avoided playing new online games as well to avoid being infront of the computer
screens all the time. Its about high time I eliminate all these distractions before my examination. Although I would require some inspiration to jump start on the books.

Well, being back here means Ill be going through the old routine again. Being away from the
gym for ten days means Im gonna go through hell during tomorrow's session. I cant wait
because I can feel my arms and body weakening from over-indulging back home. Anyways
its been awhile since I pigged out, so I kinda deserve it because Ive lost quite alot of weight
over the semester. Hopefully I can buff up by the end of the coming semester, anybody wanna
be my gym buddy?

Anyways, one last quick random update. Stoner is doing fine, but the stupid dog grew fast
over the course of one week. It has lost all its puppy fats along with significant cute values lol.
Lucky thing that my housemate was around to feed it during the holidays if not I would have
to depend on the security guard, which would not have been easy. Glad that things are going
good so far, gonna rest awhile, get some dinner and do some study later. Hopefully, I need
some form of motivation lol. :)

2

2009-12-19T08:04:00.000-08:00

It feels great to be back home after being in Semenyih for such a long time. It
feels as though Ive been gone for a really long time. I was so suprised yesterday
when I got back to see that ALL my pets have grown significantly FATTER.
WTF, all my dogs are now like 1/4 times bigger and same with my cats. Super
fat animals, but I prefer them that way anyways :D.

As usual, on the first night of my return I usually dont have a curfew and would
be out for the whole night/morning. The curfew usually only comes in effect when
I go out too often and come home too late. My curfew btw is usually around 2-3am.
Yesterday I came home around 4 smth. Had a L4D2 session in netcity, luckily it
just came out :). It was so much fun cos everything is so new, but of course I had to
try it out in easy mode first lol. Gonna go advance sometime next week. After that
it was mamaking at Abu, been awhile since I had such a big supper.

Today was rather uneventful, I spent the whole day at home lazing. I basically spent
my time playing games and watching tv. Didnt spend much time contacting the outside
world lol. Cant really go around at my own will because my car isnt here with me. Earlier
I asked my dad to let me drive his car but he was a bit hesitant of course. Im not too
keen myself because Im scared of driving his huge ass car. Well, at some point of this
holiday Im going to have to drive it and hopefully not crash it lol.

Anybody wanna watch Zombieland with me? Ive already got someone to watch
Avatar with me. Kwen get yo ass back here man!! We've gotta have some blue reef
and netcity sessions with the gorilla when you get back LOL!! Got no new jokes
this time tho.. Feel like playing paintball all of the sudden =.=

Return

2009-12-12T08:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, well not really yesterday since its already midnight, well 2 days ago
I was at pavillion with a uni friend and two friends from secondary school. Its really
nice to see that old and new friends can come together and socialise without any
problems and slight awkwardness haha. But of course there will be chemistry, I
dont pick friends out of thin air you know ;)

It was nice to talk again to my friends who I have not seen for over a year. Reminding
each other of the fun times we had and the hard times we went through together. Being
with them really reminds me of the great life in my boarding school and makes miss that
place all over again after getting over it a long time ago. I can help but get that nostalgic
feeling of being in my boarding school. The serenity, the trees surrounding the place,
the yellowish white walls, the cracked concrete path ways, the crickets singing at night,
the cold soothing night air, the familiar faces all year round, the cosy little room, the
relaxing weekends, the swimming pool, the badminton court, the sunset, everything about
the place I miss it dearly. Haih, time flies.

Im coming home, really soon. Only a few minutes ago had I realised that Ill be home
in 5 days time! Im really really looking forward to that, hanging out with my friends
and hopefully be able to play L4D2. I cant wait!! I miss my home so much, its been
a while since I really thought about home because of the great times Im having in
campus and the amount of assignments bombarded at me. Now that I suddenly
realise that Im 5 days away from home is like putting a muffin in an oven for 10 mins
and it popped out in 3 mins. Im not sure how would this analogy help you understand
but yeah... lol. However this time around, Ill be leaving quite a few things behind, Ill
be leaving my car behind, Ill be leaving little Stoner behind and most importantly Im
leaving my dear shooting star behind, my wish that came true :).. sigh

Goodnight people =)

The Green Path

2009-12-07T07:24:00.001-08:00

Finally Im done with my QM assignment. I went through hell this weekend
completing it. It wasnt exactly hell when you have friends over your place to
do it together lol. It is during assignments when you get to know the true nature
of your coursemates. This is something I learnt over the weekend, as I got
to know my coursemates better through working together and the absence of
some others was proof enough for me about their intentions. I will not state
here what sort of intentions.

Anyways, on saturday I rushed my assignment from 1pm to 5am. It was the
first time I ever did something like this. I realise that at 5am, Im a completely
different person. Its not exactly a good thing really. Around 5am I realise that
I am actually less coherent. I tend to talk alot of crap around that time and
when people talk, all I hear is words, drifting by as my brain fail and fail again
to process and interpret what that person is trying to say to me. Its almost
like DDR in my head, except my brain isnt trying at all to hit the arrows lol.

This was proven when I woke up in the morning to find the vocabulary in my
essay being complete bullshit, but the facts were there, much to my relief.

This morning as I walked to the assignment submission counter, I realised
that this semester is ending. Time has flew by so fast, and it made me realise
that Im already in Uni, I made new friends, Ive ditched some old ones and
my life has changed significantly for the better(of course) over the course of
this semester. Its just that, I let everything pass me by at such a rate to the
point where I didnt even take the time to stop and look at where I currently
stand and who I am, right now, as a person, perhaps as someone else, as me.

This year is ending soon, in less than a month's time and it would mark my
second year in Nottingham. Ive been through so much in this uni, Ive met
so many people, I learnt so many things here, experienced so many things
and lived my life here, in Semenyih, my second home. I know I actually
complained a lot about this place, about the people, about everything. But
it took me time to realise that for once Im actually having fun being away
from home, and the people who may hurt me sometimes are my true friends.

I would like to talk on and on about what I did in Nottingham and what
I learnt but that would perhaps take another post. So I would like to
extend my gratitude here to whoever Ive met in Notts whether just
a hi bye friend or a very goodfriend. Each and everyone of you have made
my life here(and still are) and interesting one. I bid you all goodnight :)

Fatigue

2009-12-03T09:03:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought that I can relax and run away from assignments, they
slowly crawl back in once again. Last week I handed in two assignments and
looked forward to a relaxing weekend, but no, there is another one due this
monday, quantitative methods. Wth, everheard of assignment for maths?
Maths has always been my all time favourite subject in secondary school but
in college and uni it has been like the worse form of nightmare I can ever imagine.

My module is called Applied Research Methods I: Quantitative methods. It
is a form of maths for psychologists to use I guess. I dont even see the point.
What makes this form of maths stand out from our conventional maths is that
it is in a more theoretical form which means we have to explain equations,
formulas and symbols in words. sigh......

Never have I ever been so worried about an assignment or something related
to work before during this semester. The assignment is due in less than 3 days
time and I have barely started. I guess this is gonna be a hell of a weekend for
me,but do I have a choice? I cant wait to return back to Penang, everyone is
back now! Well, almost everyone. I havent seen my islander friends so a really
long time, I miss you guys, seriously =(

Argh, there it goes again. My stomach has been acting up a lot lately im not sure
why. Maybe its because I ate some really messed up stuff lately. My diet has been
quite meaty lately as I eat very less vegetables and no fruits at all. This week my
stomach has been really freaky, Ive had many uncomfortable trips to the toilet during
these past few days. Earlier during this evening, within 2 hours I was in and out of
the toilet for 4 times already. haih..

Im coming back on the 18th =). Really looking forward to that. I miss home so much,
but I wont be able to enjoy it much tho, Ill be home only from the 18th till the 26th,
because I have papers during early January. So, this is suppose to be a study break
and not a relaxing holiday. Im not gonna stay back here like I did last year, most
regretabble decision ever made! I miss FUG! =p

Anybody wanna take care of stoner during my absence? This is my biggest dillema ever. =(
haih,=(

Those Three Cliche Words

2009-11-27T05:31:00.000-08:00

What is love? In my own opinion I think it is something that is not innate. Love,
is actually a less primal form of lust. Just that over time, men have found a way
to tame lust and find a more civilized way of displaying it through love. Any doubts?
One of them is mammalian animal parents. They show their "love" towards their
young by protecting them and feeding them, I can honestly say it is just instinct.
Why do you think that mammlian parents leave their young at some point? Love
for their mates? Plain lust, no doubt about that. Its just their innate instinct to mate
and continue the existence of the species. Sometimes, this applies to humans as well.

Back to the point, why do we feel love? When you "love" somebody because they
are good looking, that isnt really love anymore, that is plain lust. Whats stopping
you from raping them upside down is because of constraints we have from the
law, morals, ethics bla bla bla. The only way to truly feel love in my own opinion
or from my own experience atleast, is to truly LOVE them. There is no other word
for it, no other way to show it. It is the most complex and mysterious feeling a
human can actually feel and yet those who have felt it can never explain how it
exactly feels to truly love someone.

To me, love is more than hugs and kisses. More than sweet talk. More than words
can ever explain. Its something that makes you happy, sad and angry all at the
same time and yet you get so addicted to it. It makes you brave, it brings out the
best out of you sometimes, it is one of the best forms of motivation and yet it can
tear you down and scar you for life. Some people say it is bullshit and they do it
for the sex or for show, to prove that you can score a girl or guy that is so hot. For
those who think that way, I feel more pity than disgust for you because you are no
different from all those animals out there in the wild, and they are the brainless ones.

I know I have no right to judge what about what other people feel or what they do,
but its just my own opinion thats all. As usual, I dont mean to insult or offend anyone
on this blog. Im just voicing out what I feel and what I can word out from my own
mouth. There is so much more that I would like to say, but perhaps for some other
time.

I dont lust you,
I love you

Stoner

2009-11-21T06:37:00.000-08:00

This weekend was quite a hectic one actually, well, not exactly this weekend
these past few days anyways. I couldnt be assed to explain what occured
these past few days but it involved a lot of eating and running around lol.
In addition to that Im busting my ass on my assignments right now thats
why I have not been in the mood to blog lately. Haih I cant wait for all of
this to end. The beginning of the sem was so carefree, I guess I just let it

all go too hard... so much for relaxation lol..

Anyways there is an addition to my house now. The picture says it all
lol.. World, meet Stoner :)

tu owh wan tu

2009-11-17T06:35:00.000-08:00

Lately it has been raining a lot because of the rainy season I guess? Everyday
by the time its evening, it will rain like crazy and there will be loads of thunder
and lightning. I dunno why, but I made a pact with some of my coursemates to
climb broga hill during a thunderstorm. To me it sounded like a good idea when
we planned it and laughed about it. But when the time comes, it isnt exactly
very funny anymore. The thought of climbing up a very slippy mountain during
a massive rain isnt very appealing when you stare out the window watching the
heavy droplets patter on the floor, the thunder drumming away as it causes the
very roof above you to rattle and lightning that blinds your eyes for a spilt second.

These are the makings of madness, which we usually observe from the comfort of
our sheltered houses. But a deal is a deal, after my assignments are done we are
gonna climb up broga hill in a storm whether we like it or not. SHUCKS! I am actually
very tempted to do it, but Im not sure if ill come down broga hill alive or not! LOL!

Anyways, due to the weather it has been really cold lately. Last night I slept without
the fan and with my windows just ever so slightly open. At first, it was too warm but
I knew it would be too cold if I turned my fan off so I kept it off. Within 5 minutes of
so called temperature purgatory the cold air seeped in and my room was engulfed by
a layer of cold air. It got so cold to the point where I wrapped myself with my blanket
without the fan, for the first time ever. It was that cold.

Today, there was heavy rain as usual but slightly heavier and longer than the norm.
The wind was quite strong as windows and doors around my humble rented home
rattled like demons were sneaking into my house lol, descriptive much? After the
rain ended, the thunder continued echoing in the air as flashes of lightning are seen
brightening up my gloomy room for a few milliseconds. When It was dinner time I
drove out with my housemates and we were greeted by quite a horrendous scene
in semenyih town. Most of the street lamps were blown down like uprooted trees,
signboards we usually see are flung away, roofs were blown off and traffic lights
were functioning. The damage was catastrophic.

The days are going to continue getting gloomier, as the rainy season has yet to end.
Its a good thing I still have you as my substitute sunshine =)

K.A.R.M.A

2009-11-11T06:50:00.000-08:00

K.ena
A.fter
R.onald
M.ake
A.ss of himself

Only recently have I ever felt the great power of karma. Although it may
be hard to believe but what goes around really comes around. For me
anyways. It all started with my housemate Kenneth, Ive seen things
that happened to him after his misdeeds, but I realised that I share the
same fate with him as well haha. Not everyone is affected by karma
anyways, just some certain lucky individuals like me and dear Kenneth
hahah.

Over the past few weeks of this semester, Ive been through all sorts
of karmaish incidents. I am seriously more aware and guilt conscious
of my actions as not to receive any bad karma, but of course with
someone of my nature, it would be a miracle for that not to happen.
Well, there are two sorts of karma, instant karma and long-run karma.
Instant karma is something that happens to you immediatly after
the person commits the deed/misdeed, believe it or not, instant
karma isnt something that is uncommon. Long-run karma is
something that happens to you, and you start to think, why the heck
did I do to deserve this? And the thought pops in ure head, OH YEAH
I DID THIS OR THAT YESTERDAY. =.=

As for today, I was hit with the worse karma, everrrrrrrrrr. Today was
such a crappy day full of embarassment. Two incidents that made me a
complete fool in campus. First, was my attempt to make a side park infront
of an audience at the carpark. That didnt go well and it left me being laughed
at by a crowd of people as I sped off. As I was walking to class with my
bruised ego, yet something else happened. I was so blur when I was looking
for Jess in a class of 300 people. So while the class was going on I called her
and I talked really loud on the phone. The lecturer stopped the lecture and gave me a
stare along with 300++ students. It was all too much for me and I walked
off. Fuck it. FML.

As you can see, the power of karma. This must be thanks to me excessively
making fun of the polar bear. hehehe. Its worth it anyways. Well, I must have
done something really good, cos karma blessed me with you. =)

Quickie

2009-11-07T00:05:00.000-08:00

Hi guys, its been a while since I last updated so here it goes. This week wasnt
exactly very happening but last week was kinda crazy for me. As I mentioned
earlier I reaturned back to Penang but I didnt mention much about the BBQ

and the AAR concert.

Well, there is nothing much to blog about the BBQ since the pangeelapongers
have mentioned so much about it so Im just gonna upload some pics here.
BTW I wouldnt mind having another one. I had a kick ass time =)

As for the AAR concert it was a blast but Ill probably never look forward to
going to another concert again because of how crappy it was. We waited hours
in a crowd of super heat releasing, stinky people. If Im not mistaken someone
crapped in his/her pants too as a rancid odour hung in the air. The local acts
were good but by the time the AAR were out I was already moodless as FISH.
They kept us waiting, you shitfaces! The only highlight of the night is something
else for me =)

Assignments are coming in quick. Will be kinda busy for the next few weeks
I guess. Looking forward to a great semester anyways. Goodbye people =)

Penisland

2009-10-30T06:38:00.001-07:00

Im currently in Penang now cos of some urgent matter. It is nothing
serious really. Dont worry, no one got injured or died falling off a
sleepy mountain. I had to come back to sign some documents, I
nearly had to skip the bbq and the AAR concert for this reason.
But thanks to my careful time management I am able to enjoy
both and still be able to be home to settle this matter and still
spend time with my family.

Well it kinda happened like this, my dad called me up one day and
told me he needed me home sometime soon to sign some documents.
He said that its no real rush so we will discuss it later on. Within the
next 2 hours he called again and it was a real RUSH and I had to be
home ASAP. After a few cursing and swearing on the phone I am
here within a day. There was a sense of urgency to it tho. I had to
fly back using last minute booking and my brother fetched me
from the airport to the office. There I signed the documents while
being looked on by my bros, my dad and this office dude. Its like
some peace treaty signing of some sort. Glad thats over.

Atleast Im home now! The place where I will never ever think twice
about going to. I'll be here for less than 24 hours but atleast Im spending
the night. Ah, on my comfy bed in my spacious room with my cat by my
side, what more can this banana ask for? I already have the pork products
with me to take to semenyih already hehe. Ahh, Penang =)

As for tomorrow its just going to be a slight rush. My flight is at 8:10am
so I have to be up by 6 and out of the house by 6:45. I will arrive around
9am and from there I will take a cab to semenyih. When I get to semenyih
then its off to Midvalley and a few hours after that is the AAR concert.
Hence the end of a nice weekend. Bye people :D

Double Walker

2009-10-25T06:31:00.001-07:00

This weekend has to be one of the most stoner weekends for me. I told myself
that I would study but I ended up napping the whole weekend away. My weekend
consisted of me waking up at 9 for various reasons. By the way when I say weekend
I mean from thrusday to sunday cos my classes end on weds. How did my weekend
get screwed up in the first place? Cos of the drinking session on weds, oh boy that
really killed me lol.

Well you see, on thursday morning(after the drinking session) I had to go to campus
to study so I didnt sleep in. I napped on thursday as well. Friday, I had to go to gym
so I woke up at 9 again, therefore I didnt sleep in. On saturday I planned to to sleep in
but the damn garderner, who rarely came decided to pick a perfect day to come and
YES he came at 9. Knocking on the door to ask my housemate to move his car. I couldnt
continue sleeping cos of his weedwhacker. As for today(sunday) I had nightmares in my
sleep. Therefore I woke up at 9 feeling really blurrr. As for tmr? Cant sleep in either,
class is at 10.

Haih, as for today I woke up at 9 after my nightmares. Proceeded to gym for a really
massive work out, fucking me over in the process. After gym it was around 12 I had
a light breakfast and proceeded to watch tv from 1 to 4, skipping lunch. BIG MISTAKE.
I took a nap at 4 till 7 and when I woke up I felt like I had lack of energy and I couldnt
move. I had a big dinner in the kajang foodcourt.

Something weird happened at the kajang foodcourt, as I was sitting down waiting for
my food, someone among the crowd caught my attention. It was a guy(no! not a gay
moment) standing infront of one of the stalls. What was so special about this dude?
HE FUCKING LOOKED LIKE ME, well sorta. I know its hard to believe, but usually
when someone says that this guy or that guy looks like me, I usually disagree, but
dis guy was different. For some reason he reminded me of me. It was a very creepy
moment for me. He has the mole, the hunch I usually do, the hair(with the long
side burns) and the stoner face that usually stares at me back in the mirror.

It was a too creepy for me lol. Finally meeting up with my doppelganger, but I can
honestly say that I am way better looking than him =p

Unconventional Dillema?

2009-10-20T10:25:00.000-07:00

Recently during my psychology class my lecturer showed us a video regarding
the human thinking. Well, I forgot what was the purpose of the video but here
is how it goes. There is a scenario where a trained actor who is a really hot girl,
who takes a walk in a crowded street and she suddenly faints(she pretends).

There she lies on the ground, and within seconds people rush to her aid picking
her up and calling 911. According to the study, it took about an average of 6 seconds
before people rushed to help her. Does this means that our human society are a bunch
of loving and helpful people? We'll look at the seconds scenario.

There is another male actor, dressed as a homeless man who walks on a crowded
street and faints(he pretends) all of the sudden. This "homeless man" wasnt exactly
as fortunate as the attractive lady. People walked pass by him and ignored him. There
he laid on the ground while people walked by taking little notice of him, keeping their
distance from him while walking by. It took about 20++ minutes before some people
who reluctantly helped him by calling 911. None of them bothered to make physical
contact with him unlike the attractive woman. Perhaps there is still hope for us afterall?
We'll let's take a look at the third scenario.

The same male actor still dressed as a homeless man faints on a crowded street. This

time he is holding an empty can of beer. Again people walk pass by ignoring him and
keeping the distance as usual. This time, even after 20++ minutes people continue
ignoring him. But an astonishing 80 mins go buy and still nobody helps him. Then
when it looked like our perfect moralistic and ethical society was about to lose its
image, another homeless woman appraoches the "homeless man". She nudges him
and asks him to wake up. But the actor followed instructions and remained motionless.
She continued nudging him and he doesnt respond. So she stood by him asking passer by's
to call him an ambulance. People ignored her making no eye contact. Yet she stood there,
still asking people to call an ambulance as she had no handphone, and people ignored her.

At one point she took the empty can of beer from the actor's hand and threw it away
and continued asking passer-bys to call an ambulance. It took about a good 20 mins
before a woman called an ambulance. While the ambulance was arriving, the homeless
woman gave the actor words of encouragement, and told him the ambulance was coming.
She even called him by a name, which was Billy, as though she had already developed
a connection with this passed out "homeless man". When help arrived this homeless
woman didnt even expect any form of gratitude. She just walked off carrying on with
her life disappearing in the city

Ask yourself, if you were one of the passer-bys would you help? Would you just spend
10 secs of ure life calling an ambulance atleast? Honest I think you wouldnt, cos I wouldnt.
A drunken homeless man passed out on the road. Who gives a shit right? But not this
homeless woman. Makes all us God-fearing, moralistic, self respecting and ethical
human beings look like shit right? This post doesnt encourage you to do anything, just
to think about it. How many percent of human beings out there would have a heart
as big as this homeless woman's? Sometimes it takes more than just forwarding
emails to save a life. Dont you think so?

Into the abyss

2009-10-15T03:00:00.000-07:00

hey guys, sorry Ive not been blogging lately cos Ive been busy I guess. Well I
just finished a video I made and here it is. I wont be doing another one anytime
soon because its really time consuming, but it was fun :)
I made this in a rush so, no harsh critic k? =/
please leave comments :D

Red

2009-10-07T08:57:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a random feeling where you just felt angry for a
reason you dont really know? Like there is someone you felt like screaming
your lungs out at but you just couldnt really tell who. You keep telling
yourself not to be angry cos there is really no reason but somehow its
inside of you constantly nudging you at the ribs. The feeling actually
feels like your heart is being squeezed in between your lungs. Its an
annoying sensation, which seems to be only able to be cured if you
did something about it. Something aggresive, something crazy, something
violent, yet that doesnt really help either.

Well first of all maybe you might be angry at more than just one person.
Or perhaps its over something you might have just forgot about, but your
temper subconsciously flares over it anyways. Maybe its because you are

angry over more than one reason, till it becomes too overwhelming to the

point that you couldnt really give a shit about what you are angry about,
you just feel angry for the fucks of it.

I do not know why for some aparent reason, when someone has tested my
patience to the maximum limit I can never ever bring myself to forgive that
person. Whenever he or she does something wrong that triggers my temper,
even ever so slightly Ill instantly feel hatred for that person. Sounds stupid
right? Well Im fixing it. Atleast Im trying to anyways. Haih I hate it when
my anger fucking takes over.

Well things that mostly tick me off is not as what most of my friends think.
Here is a list of things where people may think that pisses me off but actually
its doesnt really do much. Im cool with this, well sort of
1) Late when meeting with me
2) Teasing/annoying me
3) hitting me for no apparent reason
4) etc etc

These are the things where you should pay more attention to.
1) When you dont tell me anything
- for one, I dont think I am a mind reader. When something is wrong, or you
have to tell me something important, spill it out! Dont expect me to find out
on my own and cause massive complications. I fucking swear nobody ever
tells me anything, or atleast something I should REALLY know, that ticks me
off to the max.

2) Being insensitive around me

- ok fine, teasing me once in a while is all fine and dandy. Its funny and yes
we can have a good laugh. But if you overly and continuosly do it, that really
gets on my nerves cos it gets really annoying after awhile. I know I usually
accept insults or whatever but that does not that you can step on me all the
time.

3) Never listen
- I hate stubborn people who never ever listen. The problem is some people
can be so stubborn at times cos of their ego. Damn cant stand it when someone
tries to act smart in a certain situation and somehow fucks it even more with
their so called intellect.

Ok, thats enough ranting for one night. Sorry if I have offended anyone, this
post is not intentionally directed to anyone. Its just a general post about
whatever. Peace.

NOTICE(semi important)

2009-10-05T06:40:00.000-07:00

I have changed my old number from 0194161260 to 0124287696

Disenchanted

2009-10-03T09:12:00.000-07:00

Hi again everyone, Im currently updating this crappy stagnant blog
from my friend's laptop as mine is still in Penang. It will be sent to me
in a few day's time I guess so I shall continue persevering life without
a personal computer for just a while longer. Its been about 10 days
since the holidays officially ended and its been fine so far. There is
nothing much to read up and its quite relaxed, just for this week.
Not expecting things to be this good next week, but I'll just enjoy
things as it is now.

Although Im not very sure exactly how to enjoy my free time now as
there is virtually nothing to do! The weekend is really long and cruel,
4 days straight of nothing to do. The only thing that keeps me sane is
the tv in the living room. Ive never felt so much like a couch potato in
my whole entire life. They say the mind is a terrible thing to waste, but
look at me, do I have a choice? -____-

Aside from this unusually crappy weekend, the past week has been
kind of crazy, more like some party week. Last week was spent mostly
on going out and boozing my ass off seriously. Within the first few days
I already drove to midvalley for an outing and attended Feera's party.
After that I spent most of my nights boozing with my housemates as
my neighbour brought a bottle of chivas from langkawi. Great, now I
sound like some frigging alcoholic, maybe I should start going to poppy.

Anyways on a totally different topic, something weird happened today.
My dad called me on the phone telling me my bro met in a small car
accident. A motorcycle rear-ended my bro's car while he was making
a hasty last minute turning. Hmm, sounds normal but the twist is the
motorcyclist is a good friend of mine. No one got really injured and
things are fine but what a coincidence right? Really, Penang island
is so small.

Anyways, I hope I will be able to bring this blog back too life as soon
as I get my laptop back. Im gonna work on a 2nd video on one of these
boring lazy weekends because I feel like it. tata =)

The Gates have Closed

2009-09-22T08:09:00.000-07:00

Those who have made this long holiday a great one. Hopefully we shall hang out again
during christmas? :D

It's 11:09 now and Im not even done packing my stuff yet. Yep,
you guessed it Im leaving tomorrow. Tomorrow is different because
Ill be driving my car down to Semenyih for the very first time. Ill, be
departing from mainland Penang around 9 am and hopefully reach
semenyih by lunch time. Its great to finally have my car down here
but I have another problem. My laptop is trashed and it needs repair
therefore for the the first week(or few weeks) Ill be without my
laptop so I wont be online much. =(

Anyways, it feels like time has just jolted by as it suddenly hit me,
the holidays are OVER. It took me awhile to take it in because this
holiday has been really really long. 4 and a half months of doing absolute
jack. Thats how this holiday went. Of course I did go out, spend time with
my friends and family but this holiday was so long, that I felt really
useless for the first time in my whole life. But whatever I had fun.

Im looking forward to next sem, as Im looking forward to all the

new things that are about to come. New friends, new schedule, new
lifestyle and new bicycle. Mine got STOLEN. Like wtf, damn unlucky
but fortunately its just a cheap bike. I hope whoever steals it rides it
and falls into a drain and eat shit while in there. PUI!

I do not want to repeat myself in this post regarding this holiday of
what Ive been through and what I did. I have written numerous posts
during this holiday about everyday activities. Yes it was fun but there
is just too much to write about. Will try to update again when I get to
campus. Goodnight!

Need some carrots. Seriously!

2009-09-18T09:18:00.000-07:00

Its funny how the absence of material things can affect your life
in such a manner. Most people say dont be materialistic, cherish
more important things such as friends and family bla bla bla. Although
they are right, we infact wont be able to last a single day without
material objects cos these are the objects which brings us to these
people.

For example, without a car how to meet your friends? Without
your handphone how to keep in touch with family? Without laptop
how to trade emails and send msn messages to loved ones? Right??!
This proves that people are not materialistic because they want to,
its because they have no choice. As for those who are materialistic
in the sense of trivial things such as expensive clothes and such, you
should be shot right now, in the face. Thats right sissy boy!! ;)

Why do I suddenly speak of such things? Well first of all 2 days ago my
car was taken away from me. So no transport lor. The day after that
my laptop was taken away from me, so no internet. As for today???
My room was taken away from me like wtf. Oh ok lemme explain, both
car and laptop are in the shop. Room is given to some guests at the moment.
It was either sleeping with my bro or sleeping in the computer room. Of
course I made the smarter choice. :p

I cant wait for uni to reopen!! I usually dont say this because I enjoy my
holidays, every moment of it. But now, since most of my friends arent
around its just really boring here. Its sad really, playing all sorts of random
mini warcraft games all day and watching tv. I think I might need to start
wearing spectacles from now on. My eyes are like literally glued to the
screen all day. Sigh. Goes to show you dont go home for the sake of going
home. You go home for the people. Adious muchachos amigos!

Good news

2009-09-15T04:49:00.000-07:00

I passed my resit, which really good news to me. I have never felt
so relieved in my whole entire life. All Ive been feeling for the past
few weeks is anxiety and now I can feel the weight of the world off
my shoulders. Phew, I must say that Im pretty proud of myself
right now :)

So its off to uni in about a weeks time from now and this time it will
be different cos Im driving my car down!! Yes I can finally drive around
KL, which is nearly my 2nd home. I can finally meet my friends easily
and eliminate out quite a few inconviniences. However, I have of course
thought about the pros and cons of bringing down my car here. Here's
the list.

Pros-
-easier to go around
-much safer than a bike
-lesser dependence on public transport
-saves time

Cons-
-increase in costs(petrol)
-lesser excercise from bike
-parking(parking in campus isnt exactly easy)
-Ill be going out more?

It seems that the pros and cons almost balance each other out. But if
I have missed out anything from the pros and cons please speak out
as my ears are open to any advise/suggestions. Bringing a car will make
a significant difference in my uni life so I really wanna put some thought
into it.

Through my experience doing a resit Ive learnt a lot from it. That is
why Next semester things are going to change. I know Ive made alot
of stupid promises on this blog but now its different. I intend to keep
it as I do not want to screw up another holiday. That is why during
next sem I will
-not skip classes for stupid reasons
-pay full attention in class and not joke around
-revise revise revise
-allocate atLEAST 1 hour a day to revision
-complete tutorials

I realised that Ive taken many of my lecture and tutorial sessions
for granted and it was really stupid. Last minute studying isnt going
to make the cut anymore, I feel that Ive been influenced too much
by the people around me during secondary school and college. Its
a really bad habit doing ANYTHING last minute. I cant see why
people around me, ALL people around me for that matter cant take
the initiative to manage time properly. I guess its the pot calling the
kettle black anyways =/

Stick Rider

2009-09-07T18:53:00.000-07:00

Hey there guys, this is a video I made yesterday to pass the time.
It took me almost half a day to complete it. I know its a bit funky
cos I used paint but Im not some animator ok? Please Please Please
watch till the end =). Feel free to comment too. You can roughly guess
whats it about....

Thanks for watching :D

Fiend's Grip

2009-09-05T10:42:00.000-07:00

I dont know why, but lately I have been really moodless to do anything. Its
like Im a walking zombie. All Ive been doing since I got back is go online all
day listening to music and basically doing nothing physical. Ive been back
from KL for about a week now and Ive been out only once so far. Although
Ive been asked out a few times Ive turned them down because I am just in
no mood.

Well, I can honestly blame it on my 3 weeks of solitude in KL. Being alone for
3 weeks have sort of destroyed me internally. Not speaking to anyone face2face
for a whole day can really take a toll on you. I dont know why but I think I
might have lost abit of my people skills back there just being alone @___@.
If you go out with me now, Im really quiet and I wont say much. I dont know
why opening my mouth now is such a burden. Staying at home seems more
tempting that doing anything else. *sigh

To make things worse, Im not sure why lately people are constantly trying to
test my patience. Seriously, I get really irritable over silly little things and
its like people delibrately try to piss me off and are happy at the fact that they
have successfully pissed me off! What a welcome home. Ive never really seen
myself as an angry person but shits ever since I got home its like im the yellow
hulk or some shit like that. Even as Im typing this post out I feel like mutilating
something grr.

Waiting for the release of my results is another matter. Im going crazy just
waiting for it as Im overly anxious of my outcome of studying for 3 weeks without
much interuption. To be honest Ive never been so afraid of something like this
before. The feeling is just horrible really, I think about it before I sleep, I think
about when I wake up and once in a while it just pops in my mind. And the
occasional incessant questions:
can enter uni or not?
can ah?
wanna apply somewhere else just in case?
sure you can or not?
to be honest I dont even have a rough answer

Im just really having a lousy week, I wish I could go out more so I wouldnt
have to be at home all the time. I just need to get out of my cage in the dark
but the problem is I dont know who to go out with and seek solace from. I
guess I just want to be alone. First I was forced to be alone now I wish to be
alone haih, a bit confused here. At times like this, I just feel like going back
to campus and rot there till this unusually long holiday is over.

Green, Red and Watery

2009-09-02T08:28:00.000-07:00

LOL you can see the cobwebs forming around this blog already, well I
am once again making an effort to see to it that this blog is updated. I
started by changing the header. Time for a change. Anyways, I shall now
bore you with what happened during my 4 weeks in KL. I went through
some shit and had really good times during that 4 weeks. I can say it
almost changed my life a bit.

Well the first 3 weeks was rather urmmmm, DULL!! You got a rough
picture of how it went from one of the previous posts I wrote which
I ranted about what I did and stuff. Well it mostly consists of me studying,
cycling to campus for meals and listening to the radio on astro because
there was no astro card in the decoder in my rented house. On a normal
day, I would be at the table in the living room with my books cos my room
is too messy. OPUS(yes I know =.=) will be on, and Id be hitting the books
for hours with many many breaks in between. These breaks consist of
just sitting down, maybe snacking or lying in bed for 5 mins.

I did say I would cycle to campus for meals but sometimes I get lazy so
I cook my own meals. Usually I would cook maggi mee and stuff but once
in a while I will cook up a nice batch of bolognise macaroni. Not bad eh ;).
I did get some of my groceries from a lady who owns a little grocery shop
near my place. But I only went there once. That auntie sold me 12 rotten
eggs. Wtf wei. Aside from that I had to depend on the campus convinience
store most of the time with the jacked up prices but atleast the stuff was
the real deal lol.

Well, without a car would mean Id be eating in campus mostly. Eating
in campus would mean that Id be eating hell alot less. Eating hell alot less
would mean that Id be losing weight. Yes I did, before I went to KL I
weighed myself. The scale read 61 kilos, when I got back, I hopped back
on and it read 56 kilos. I lost 5 kgs in 4 weeks. Imagine that hahaha.
I would however like to keep it that way, cos all Ive been doing since I
got back is eat eat eat. sigh. Aside from that Ive been gyming abit after
getting some tips from the master lol, heavy weight champion IMK!

I didnt spend my 3 weeks of study cooped up in my house. I went out
twice LOL! I know its sad, but when you have papers you shouldnt go
out that often. The first outing was with uni friends watching a movie.
I got to meet up with Jess which was the main highlight LOL!! The
second outing was a foundation gathering. It was cool catching up with
all the mates after having our holiday for so long. It was cool as all the
faculties were there. We literally wrecked paddington house of pancakes
lol.

The remaining one week after my 3 weeks of study was just plain
awesome. I spent most of my time around bangsar area with my
high school friends. It was great catching up with all of them again
as its been almost a year since I last saw them. Sadly, we are all
now going seperate directions sigh. I didnt get to meet with them
all tho, there were some difficulties with time and all, Ill try
again when uni reopens. YES IM TALKING TO YOU NABS!

Before I left I went for Jess and Carmen's watermelon party.
the should have called it lamb part, Ive never tasted such great
lamb before lol. But of course they took pains on other things as
well such as setting up the tables, food and truck load of watermelons
lol. There was also some DDR and karaeoke involved. Not exactly
very good in both but whatever. Cheers people I had a grand time!!

Happy Merdeka

2009-08-31T04:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Merdeka Everyone!

SLSH - Jessy’s Version =P

2009-08-31T03:53:00.000-07:00

Stefanie, a great friend,

That never fails to give a hand.

Except when she plans to ignore the guy clan.

“Funny”, that’s her middle name

And there’s a story behind her fame

None of us thinks that it’s lame

It’s just something we cant blame

Ever seen a chicken with four legs? That’s what she claimed

Let me tell you something,

Every math test to her is not challenging,

Even when Kiru is sweating.

Stefanie, also know as Steflyn,

"Zomg! That's the combination of Stefanie & Jesslyn",

Everytime there's the two bestie, THAT's how Ronald's reaction is, as ever, MEAN!

Hope we will stay as best friends forever,

Until the time we graduate and all, we’ll still be together,

It’s just something we promise each other.

SLSH

2009-08-20T07:18:00.000-07:00

She looks so hot,
That’s what she says.
Even though she’s short,
Friends adore her in many ways.
Always cheerful and bright,
Never really a frown in sight.
I heard she is a great swimmer,
Even when she’s afraid of the sound of water.

Loves attention from the guys,
Especially those twice her size,
Even the ones with blonde hair and blue eyes.

She’s definitely one of a kind,
Zesty and has a really sharp mind,
Especially when teaching maths to the blind.

However it is once again the time,
U take one more step on the climb,
I wish you happiness for all of time.

Calabria

2009-08-19T07:55:00.000-07:00

Well, once again its been quite a long while since I updated this
dusty and cob webbed infested blog, so here I go again. As most of
you know, Im still in this shithole, alone as usual. But there is a plus
today. Ive got internet connection!! Ive never been happier since my
17 days here lol. My neighbour gave me his wireless connection
password so here I am. No more cycling to tiscra for my daily
internet dosage.

Downside is, my laptop has once again become a distraction. Sigh,
I might have to go to cyber rehab one day. What is it with our needs
as humans to use to internet excessively. I have about 5 more days
till Im out of this shithole. Ill be glad when this is all over and I will
turn a new leaf next sem. No turning back this time if not Id be struck
by karma, LIKE NOW.

The internet is so fast now, cause no one else is using it lol. It feels
really great and plus I know have connection to the outside using msn
anytime I wish unlike using it in the computer lab, when its just by
chance my friends are online the same time as me. Guess Im not
completely alone now ;)

I have about a week in KL before I return to penang, anybody wanna
hang out? Cos I think 1 week is a lil too long to hang out in KL. I should
have booked the flight earlier. Sigh. Anyways signing off now, adios muchacos!

Zombie

2009-08-08T20:57:00.000-07:00

I am now currently updating my blog in tiscra(computer lab) alone. Its
really empty here and its quite rare to see another soul in sight during
the weekend here. Ive been here for about a week already and the boredom
is killing me. Well, all Ive been doing lately is eat, shit and study. I currently
dont have any access to internet at home and the tv is out. The only thing
that keeps me company is the music in my laptop.

Its really lonely here as I do not have much friends. Screw Maslow's
hierachy of needs. Its just that Im so used to having people around here
that its kinda hard to accept the fact that im alone. Half the time while
im sitting alone in the living room, I can almost expect my housemates
to walk through the front door but of course it is not to be. Damn, Im
losing my fricking mind here.

The only thing that keeps me sane is the campus pool table. It is infact
a way to kill the desolate feeling within me. Playing a few games with
strangers and making new friends by the pool table. Thankfully I know
how to play LoL. Aside from the pool table the other thing that retains
my sanity is my handphone. My only little gate-way to contacting the
outside world lol. I would really like to thank my friends who would
spend the time and credit keeping me company :)
oo yeah and my mum too.

There is also this parasitic stray dog which i occasionally feed during
last semester. Its really a suprise that it is still alive despite my absence
of about 2 months. Altho it may be a parasitic dog, Im just glad for its
company. Finally some life-form aside from me in this souless
neighbourhood. Although its really quite here, it isnt really that eerie
during the night. Its just the boredom that is killing me arghhh.

My daily routine is highly repetitive. I start by waking up 9 in the
morning and getting my light breakfast. Start studying at about 9.20.
Around 12 Ill cycle off to campus to get my lunch there. Playing a few
rounds of pool after my meal before updating my facebook in the
computer lab. By the time Im done it will be around 2 where Ill
study till 5. From 5-6 its my music time with the laptop. Around 6
Ill cycle to campus to do what I did during the afternoon again.
Lights out at 11.

I have about more than two weeks here before my im done with
my resit papers. Ill be heading down to KL after that for about a
week to hang around before returning to Penang to enjoy the rest
of my holidays. Adios people.

Subject of the day

2009-08-02T07:04:00.001-07:00

The subject today is yes, Girls. We guys usually always think about
Girls and stuff, but do we ever stop and think about them more in
detail? Try and understand them more and see them in a more different
point of view. This is not a sexist post and Im open to any criticism and
perhaps bruises but whatever.

Well the question is, what are they? According to a few sources from
urban dictionary, google and my personal ecounter with them, this is
the data Ive gathered. Lets start with a bit of chemistry.

WOMEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

---------------------------

Element: Women Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam

Atomic Mass: Accepted at 53.6 kg, but known to vary between 40 & 200 kg

Occurences: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered in make up.

2. Temperature varies, maybe hot or/and cold.

3. Very sweet if treated properly.

4. Bitter if incorrectly used.

5. Found all over town.

6. Yields pleasure applied in correct places

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones.

2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.

3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no know reason.

4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly when saturated in alcohol.

5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.

2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.

3. Very effective cleaning agent.

Perhaps from a more biological perspective?
WOMEN: BIOLOGICAL ANALYSIS
-------------------------------------

Name: Girls

Habitat: Shopping malls

Walking speeds: Average walking speed for girls is 5-6km/h but may reach up to 50-60km/h in their natural habitat.

Feeds on: chocolate, ice cream, money, men

Size: already stated in chemical properties.

Other information
1. Mainly territorial
2. Gossip in packs
3. Is usually accompanied by another female, aka the BFF
4. Has a loud nature
5. Can be the cause of eternal happiness or eternal misery
6. Can bleed up to seven days and still live
7. Top of the food chain( or pyramid hehe)

Or perhaps for a more quantitative approach?
WOMEN: MATHEMATHICAL ANALYSIS

Note:
This whole post is a joke, if you want to form an angry women mob go to google!!

Karma

2009-07-29T07:12:00.000-07:00

Here I am trying to update this neglected blog while Im 2 weeks
away from my first resit paper and a matter of days from going back
to KL. It's a really depressing feeling really ending a long holiday like
this, but Ive had real good times during this holiday. As much as I
would love to bore you with a post about things I did during this
holiday, I am however in no mood and Im too lazy because there is
just too many things to update about.

I didnt entirely spend this whole holiday entirely with all my friends
as most of them are busy with the hectic schedule of uni life. Ive come
to realise that when uni life begins its as tho my friends have no life
of their own. They are either busy slaving over their assignments or
hanging around with their other friends. I guess life is like that, you
cant keep em all. =/

However I did spend a lot of time with those who are close to me. I
did a lot of repetitive things during this holiday but I wouldnt have it
any other way. These activies included hiking with Jo Kwen and Anas,
lunching with Jenny, crazy ass netcity sessions with Kwen and many
other random peeps and FRUIT ICE!! Of course there were many
other spontaneous random outings and parties.

Very soon I'll be in Semenyih again and I'll be spending about 20-24
days there doing hardcore study for my resit papers. This is crunch
time for me as my future really freaking depends on it. I cant stay in
Penang any longer, there are just too many distractions. This is why
Im so willing to go back so soon, but my parents think that the reason
why I want to go back to KL is to see this non-existant girlfriend =___=

Im here to study kay.....

This 20-24 days will be spent alone unfortunately, but it is for the best.
Ill be free from any distraction from other people and have a real reason
to study. I cant imagine myself living like a hermit for nearly a month,
I did write a post about wanting to be alone, well God has his ways and yes
you get what you wish, just becareful of what you wish for.*sigh*

Ronald=POTONG?

2009-07-20T08:22:00.000-07:00

well lets hope no one has forgotten this face yet XD

I know I have been neglecting this blog lately, this is because
Ive been busy studying for my resit, going out with friends and
trying to still enjoy whats left of this holiday. As miserable as I
was during this holiday because of my results this holiday was
like a blast from the past. For some funny reason it really felt
like the good old days perhaps because I spent time with some
old friends back during the holidays and doing things we always
do =).

I have only about 10 days left here and I plan to make the best
of out it before I return to semenyih to study my ass off there.
Seriously, Ive done a fair bit of studying but Im in no mood cos
I still have the holiday mood. I cant stand the fact that a perfect
summer is being put to complete waste. Cant blame anyone else
for that but me I guess. *sigh*

I received my resit schedule earlier, I dont know whether to
be happy or sad. Well, as for the good part, according to my
schedule, I'll have HELL LOADS of time to study, Ample time.
The downside is, the face that my papers are so far apart means
Ill be in KL till my semester starts. Dont get me wrong, I miss my
KL friends!! but the timing is getting in the way of some of my
plans. Well, Ill post more up when I get pictures and have the time,
for now adios!

Black-Out

2009-07-12T07:41:00.000-07:00

Its been raining here like crazy lately, like really really heavy
and its freaking cold here. It has been like that for about maybe
5 days so far. The roads are like freaking flooded almost everywhere.
Lol, el nino indeed.

Anyways, while it rained there were frequent freak thunderstorms
which caused severe black-outs. The other day there was a blackout
which occured during 1am and so I couldnt sleep. I had nothing else
to do as the internet was out so I just viewed pictures which I had
in my laptop out of boredome.

Yes I know, viewing pics, THAT BORED EH? It wasnt too bad as I
saw a lot of pics during those good days where I vacationed with my
family or hung out with my friends. I was looking thru a few photos
when I stumbled upon this picture.

Pay little to this stupid pic LOL!! It was me back during 2006 when I was
vacationing with my family in USA. Back then I was much rounder and
had a more kiddy look on. Well whats so unique about this pic? What caught
my attention? Noticed anything funny about it? Well if you notice in the
next pic here there is something at the top right corner of the pic

What the heck is that? Can you roughly guess what is it? Honestly
I really dont know what the hell it is. Its just something flat in the
sky and it appears to be moving. Click on the picture to enlarge it.
I have a picture here of this object up close.

Well what do you see? I see two lights in the middle of this object, blue and red.
If you notice carefully and see real close, there are two small microscopic dots on
the right of the object which I assume is the front which look like what I presume
are HEADLIGHTS. Lol, as absurd as it may sound but its really quite hard to tell
what this object is. You can tell me its a plane or a helicopter, but since when are
human aircrafts that flat? Well Im open to any suggestions. Im not saying its a
UFO, but it might be haha. Please do comment in my cbox =)

The Moon Just Won't Shine

2009-07-06T08:53:00.000-07:00

Im the sort of person who loves being around my friends and I cant go on a single
day without them. I absolutely like being around people and just sitting down somewhere
alone gives me an awkward feeling like Im a loner of some sort. Although Im in constant
company of family and friends, inside me there is someone screaming for some alone
time. The recluse within me longs for some privacy somewhere quiet and serene for
a while.

Ive always thought of going somewhere alone for sometime or go for a long drive alone
but I never ever got to it because the idea seems a bit weird. But the idea always seemed
good at the time. The thought of taking some time alone to think about basically nothing,
just to relax and hide away from planet earth for a few hours, maybe even days. Although
this may seem like some activity for those emo freaks I actually think it will do some good
for me.

Have you ever been through a whole entire day without having any contact with your
family or friends? Think about it, has the opportunity ever came by? If so, how often
does it occur? for some it may happen often cos they are loners, for others it comes rarely,
but for me it's close to NIL. I dont think Ive been through a single day in my life without
contact with my family or friends. You may ask, why would you want to spend a whole
day without your family or friends? To be honest, I really dont know but I want to break
the record. As the saying goes try everything atleast once.

Well, when I think about it my plans usually are to go to the beach during wee hours in
the morning and just sit somewhere on the sand and under the stars to enjoy the cooling
morning breeze and just think about nothing, brain going to a complete standby. Or

perhaps a long round island drive, slowly to anywhere I wish. I also used to think about

organizing a trip for myself somewhere nice, away from the bustling city(what a cliche)
and close to nature. Yes the mainpoint of the idea, close to nature away from the public

where I can just turn my handphone off and chill, take a load of my mind.

Someday la, but not anytime soon

someday...

Burning Obstacle

2009-07-02T10:24:00.000-07:00

People often complain that I write a lot of emo stuff here and that
this blog is just some void of sadness. That is not entirely true as
people always oversee my other posts as garbage and what not.
So what? Ive got no where else to write things I am not able to
express in person thats why I pour it all here. If you are the observant
sort you would know I hardly ever express my anger or any other
sort of negative emotion in person and thats why I let it all out
here whether you want to read it or not. I am human after all and
bottling all of these up is like holding your breath. Anyone has anything
against this I suggest you find another blog to read.

Haih, cos of this downfall I'll be missing out on a lot of things this
lovely summer. This would have been the most perfect and the
best holiday if not for my resits and I have major regret issues
right now. Not only does this cause me a lot of inconvinience but
it also costed me alot of frigging humiliation.

Ive always wanted things to be perfect where all of my friends are
back home and things are like last time, everyone is(was) here,
everything is(was) perfect and things couldnt have got any better.
This summer most of my friends are coming back from abroad or
are on holidays and now I have to go back to semenyih to study
and to do my resit. Not only that, Ive made alot of plans and this
is the perfect time to do them and this comes up. I still get to go

out, I still get to meet my friends but I can never be at peace with

the lingering feeling inside me. Something that is incomplete and

must be done. I cant and WONT be at peace till this resit is over
arghhhhhhhhh

Current state:
Not so bushy hair
Tired

Demotivated
Angry
Depressed
Not stressed just yet
Slightly amused

I hate changes, esp intruders

2009-06-27T07:33:00.000-07:00

Caught these two piggies sleeping at the back of my car during our round island trip

Hey there guys I know Ive not been updating my blog so here you go.
Ive been currently too moodless to do anything including updating this
blog because I have to study for my econs resit paper. Damn that stupid
paper ruining my fricking holidays. Well, Ive been expecting this to happen
and I guess I saw it coming but never really expected to feel this bad about
it. Ive planned so many things for this holidays and have to unexpectedly
cancel them because of this resit. Gosh, I feel so damn stupid for putting
my hopes up too high, well pointless ranting about it now.

Well I cant say I didnt enjoy the part of my holiday before the results
came out. Im glad that I managed to spend time with those close to me
at every chance I got. I managed to do quite a lot of things here and had
a real blast. Makes me really sad that my holiday is kind of prematurely
over. But it is a good lesson Ive learnt and a very painful one too which
I will never forget. I promise that I wont repeat this stupid mistake
ever again.

Well I watched transformers two already, WHAT A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT!!
Call me a critic but I didnt like the movie seriously. It wasnt as good as I expected
it to be. Imagine my horror watching this after waiting for a whole entire year to
watch it. Of course there were many good parts in it and the action was amazing
but what really ruined the movie was how Micheal Bay tried to add a few touches
of humour to it. ~NOT FUNNY~. I hate it esp when the twins transformers tried
to act black and shit. What the hell.. Lame ass shit.. sorry guys I know you guys
thinks it was awesome..

Anyways I would really like to thank my friends who have helped me through
this hard time. Its a real bummer for me and Im glad my friends are always there
to help me pull through offering any sort of help they could. But disappointingly
this doesnt apply to all of my close friends, some can be so God Damn insensitive.
Choose your words wisely people!!

The Helmet Remover

2009-06-21T09:26:00.000-07:00

Hello...

I'm a friend of Ronald's.. One of his close friends.. I managed to hack into his account. so i'm gonna write a post about him & i'll try to cheer this blog up.. It just looks a little emo and surprisingly coming from a joker like him.. =P

Anyway, Ronald, is someone really different than i expected. When i first saw Ronald, i thought he looked like a litttle goodie boy with his innocent looking hair before he had his helmet (bushy hair) on.. Then when i got to know him better, i think that he tries very hard to make people laugh which might sometimes be lame..

There was once i had a little complication with him which put our friendship at stake, after what people say and talk about him.. but after thinking back, i think Ronald is one good friend which u might not like when u first know him but after u get to know him, u'll realize he is a much better friend than a lot of people. Although he looks like a person that doesnt care about stuffs, but actually he really do care. He is one friend which appreciates every thing a person does for him. He never fails to say thanks when he asks for a favour, he always volunteer to take things if he see girls carrying lots of stuffs, which not much guys now a days would do.

He is also an easy going person but he chooses his friends as well.. Some people sometimes pisses him off for not much reasons.. i understand why.. LOL...but the good thing about him is, when his friends wanna do something, he doesnt mind following them even if it requires walking from one far end to another. He is also someone that u can trust. Well, he does tell people stuffs about others too.. but when u ask him not to say anything about your secret, at least he knows how to shut his mouth.

What else about him, he can tolerate craps from people, which not everyone can stand and i know there's one point which i treated him like crap cuz i was really pissed at him after a few rumors which i later found out that it wasnt true. I realized that although i treated him like crap, he was still very helpful and he didnt complain a single word until i realized that i was a little mean to him *ehem* i think it wasnt just a little mean.. Sorry Ronald.. lol..

But anyway, at least after everything we got closer & i got to know him better & i am glad to have him as a friend :)

What i'm trying to say is, u should really get to know a person before judging them... :)

Jess ~ The Helmet Remover =D

Why live on the edge when you can jump off?

2009-06-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

People often complain that they hardly know each other enough
eventhough they have known each other for a very long time, so
here Im trying to remedy this problem by giving a post-friendship
introduction. Perhaps you guys might wanna give it a try for
the convinience of my and your other friends.

Well for starters Im obviously a very happy for lucky person who
is chilled most of the time and hardly worries about anything. But
there is a certain degree usually a serious one where I would be
brought down. Usually when Im down its very hard to cheer me up
or get me back up on my feet, but Im hardly ever down, just once
in a while. It never takes me a long time to recover anyways, and
I tend of exaggarate my problems.

My temper in general is quite stable as Im a very patient person.
I can take in quite a lot of crap basically from anyone and still keep
my cool. I hardly ever resort to releasing my anger on anybody
when Im angry. Well if you would like to test my patience, usually
what would tick me off is when people distract me when im doing
something(etc driving) and continue after Ive warned them or when
they crap a lot of senseless things which are not funny. I also dislike
it when people talk behind me or any of my friend's back. Usually
Id give chances, when when you had your last, trust me you wouldnt
want to see that side of me.

Well Im not a person who isnt too hard to please. I dont live by
luxuries and dont require any special treatment of any kind to live.
I always appreciate what is given to me and I seriously HATE it
when it comes to troubling people. Well as for my friends, my demands
are simple. Here's the list
1) Always keep in touch (a simple hi on msn or a phonecall never hurts)
2) Please try to be punctual when it comes to meeting, esp when you gave the timing.
3) When something is wrong dont keep it to yourself, let me know!!(Im not a mindreader)
4) Dont over do it when it comes to poking fun, you know the limit
5) Open up and dont be shy around my other friends, they arent monsters.
6) Be atleast a bit appreciative when being helped out
7) Dont unnecessarily lie to me, white lies are ok once in a while(zero tolerance to this shit)
8) Bottle up your ego, it has no room in my world
9) Always forgive and forget =)

Well another thing about me is that I never live dangerously, EVER! Its
not that I dont want to, its that Ive done it and have been punished
severely lol!! Ive taken big risks in my life and did a lot of crazy things
and the outcome is always bad. I never had luck, and I dont need it
either. For those people living on the edge I salute you!

Angel of Sorrow

2009-06-10T09:33:00.000-07:00

I dont know why is it that everytime we speak, its always
about something bad that happened to you. Honestly Im
getting really tired of it because you are generally such
a negative person who I feel is trying to test my patience
most of the time. I know its ok once in a while for my
friends to tell me their problems, but you seem to be
doing it all the time.

Ive tried talking to you and cheering you up but it never
ever works and it makes me feel bad inside. However you
still always complain to me regarding trivial matters that
you are upset about, like ALL time we talk. Its a really
lousy feeling really that everytime I wish to catch up with
you, you always end up complaining to me about your
silly problems.

Ive lost the person that I used to know and adore so much
as you've turned to this angel of sorrow. You didnt use to
be like this, not all the time anyways. I kinda missed the
times back then when you're a more happier person. Your
problems all dont seem too serious to me and we face these
things day to day ourselves. This has got to stop, I cant
stand it anymore.

note: this is not someone from uni.

Ruumba Siiii

2009-06-08T04:14:00.000-07:00

Hi guys its been awhile since I diligently updated my blog, so
perhaps I shall start again. I think I did mention earlier that I
was doing a promotion job over the weekend. From friday to
sunday I was promoting this product called CyberClean alongside
my cousin and my bro. My cousin invested into this product and
he had to promote it for commision. Nobody believe that this
product would sell but my cousin proved them wrong. whopdeedoo

here is a google link for the product: http://images.google.com.my/images?hl=en&q=cyberclean&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi

Anyways the job wasnt as bad as I expected it to be, it was really
fun as I learnt quite a lot of things and it was a very rewarding
experience. I met all sorts of people while doing this job, all sorts.
There were those who were weird, attractive, curious, calculative,
ignorant and many more. It was really fun reeling the customers in
and convincing them to buy the product and I never knew I had
such skills ;)

I also managed to hang out with some friends while doing this
job as I would occasionally bump into them. Managed to have
some meals with them too. Then I would bump into some really
really old friends which I havent seen for years. Some remembered
me but others all just walked past me like I was some stranger but
I knew who they were, it was a really interesting feeling.

It was the most productive weekend of my whole holiday I guess
but now I have to find a REAL job. Sucks to be alive =.=

I feel it too

2009-06-03T06:35:00.000-07:00

It has come to the time of the year, the one single time
where the inevitable is about to occur. This thing that
keeps me awake at night, always at the back of my mind.
I get so worried to the point where nothing else really
matters anymore, nothing can cheer me up. Not even
the closest of friends can pick me up.

It is this thing, that can even shatter the most happy-go-lucky
person like me to mere fragments of fear, anxiety and depression.
Im not really in the best of moods right now, lately ive been quite
irritable because of the lack of rest ive been getting. Dont get me
wrong Im glad to be home but going out everyday is taking a toll
on me and Im getting tired. To add up with that Ive been having
sleeping difficulties lately, Ill go to sleep really early but will be
awake till the obscenely early hours of the morning tossing and
turning.

Well if you have to know what this inevitable thing is you can
try and guess it for yourself although the answer is quite obvious.
For starters I'll just give a fair warning that at this moment
(Im not sure for how long) I wont take crap from anyone,seriously.
Please do not attempt to annoy me, please dont try and be stupid
around me, please try anything funny. Im not going to say I
need some time alone, infact Id be glad to go out, just that I
wont be in the best of moods for bullshit.

On the brighter side, Im going to have an outing tmr, probably a
long one that would wear me down so id have the mood to catch
up with some sleep. Gonna do some promotion thingy in Gurney
this weekend, hope its works out lol. I kinda need the cash cause
of this long holiday. Im so sorry that the beginning was so damn
filled with anger and emoness and shit but its been awhile since
I complained in here. Nah im not really pissy now, just a bit
irritable. Im so glad Ive got great friends.

Dreamworld

2009-05-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

Im now living in my own world, my dreamworld.
Where things are always the way I want and life is
good. I dont have any worries, Im always happy
and people around me are always cool. Guess
what, its not a dream, its home =)

Its been 8 days since I got back and Im kinda glad that I
managed to catch up with quite a number of people over
such a short duration. We'll Ive been hanging out alot with
Kwen as usual always playing Left4dead in Netcity and HELL
LOADS, I mean SHITLOADS of pool.

I also managed to celebrate Jenny's birthday with her, Kwen
and Madeline. It was COMPLETE chaos!! LOL!! I felt so bad
that day because not only was the suprise lame but I dropped
the cake and nearly destroyed it. But Im just glad that the
bday girl was happy. Its a good thing that she caught everything
by suprise thanks to Mad's super acting skills. LOL!!
Not much pics taken though.. It was too dark in Sunset.

After that day went out with some childhood/primary school
friends. It was a really really really tiny gathering. Like downright
tiny. Like 3 people tiny LOL! But it was ok because I havent seen
Ruby and Juli for a really long time. We had a good time in Queensbay
and as usual watching movie after a meal.

Well aside from that I met up with alot of my other friends too but
we just didnt take pics thats all. Anyways I managed to meet up with
the elusive Ping Pong in the middle of her exams, what an opportunity.
Haha was nice seeing her after all this while, bumping to her in Gurney
was just a shocker. Anyways met up with Eelyn and Mable as well.
Enough of this update lol. Getting really boring.. =)

JO YOU CAN TRY KICKING MY ASS IN POOL

Online

2009-05-26T02:12:00.000-07:00

Hey guys Im currently updating from home as my internet
is back online but there still seems to be some slight problem
with the connection so I wont be able to be on MSN all the
time. Anyways its only been 5 days and Ive been out almost
everyday. It feels so good to be home once again and meeting
my friends altho some of them are already in KL. Of course
I do miss my friends back in KL =(

I will do a real update soon when I get pictures and all. For
now just gonna chill and head out again later =)

Offline

2009-05-21T05:55:00.000-07:00

Guys Im currently gonna be offline for about 2 weeks.
There seems to be some internet problem in my home
so yeah. Im currently updating my blog in Netcity =.=
Anyways for those who wanted to know..
1) yes im alive, trip was safe
2) Im home now, will be here till sept
3) time to party :p

19+21-15+7-20+5-10-5=?

2009-05-18T09:11:00.000-07:00

Well well lookie here, 2 days left? Seems like time has passed
really quickly here. It may seem contradictory to what I always
say that its boring here, there is a cruel repitition to things and
time passes by slowly but no. 3 semesters has just ended in a
snap. Its been a year but it only felt like months and I kinda
took things for granted because in all honesty, life here is
kinda good.

Ive always complained so much about this place, talk bad
things about it and always be willing to leave it behind for
Penang, but Ive kinda got used to being here. The friends
that I made and the people Ive met. The places Ive been
and the lessons Ive learnt. Everything means so much to
me. Whatever la.. enuff lameness..

Time for some sleep. Will update tmr night.

Louder, Louder

2009-05-15T07:32:00.000-07:00

Me and Kwen before hitting on chicks haha :p
My room in the bg btw

Well, time for a real update lol. I do apologize if you guys
were annoyed at the fact that I kept posting stories and
soppy posts that has nothing to do with me lol. Well I
read all these stories before somewhere and they are
very meaningful to me and it definitely deserves to be
in my blog.

Hmmm how are things you ask? Things couldnt be more
great actually, Ive completed 4 of my five papers and I
have only one left which is maths. I have about like 5 days
left and 4 more in 1 hour and 25 mins from now. Well it
isnt exactly that great because I dont think I did to well
for any of my silly papers.

Nevermind that, atleast I can look forward to a long holiday
lol. I really need one because I have been going nuts for about
8 months more or less with just a 2 weeks break at home in
between. So yeah! Im looking forward to get home lol!! I'll
take this time to hang out with my family and friends, take
a break and catch up with hours of lost sleep lol.

Well here is my current status...
Current state:
-Out of shape
-Bushy hair
-Tired
-Was stressed but not now
-Bored
-Homesick
-Not happy nor sad, something in between
-Single
-A bit confused
-Slightly depressed
-Looking forward to go home =)

Broken

2009-05-11T07:56:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Amber who
was born blind. She did not have a very good childhood
because she did not experience things such as colour,
beauty and light. All she had was darkness in her life
as most of the people in her school ignored her because
she was different. The only thing that kept her going was
her parents who helped her as much as they could but
there was just so much they could do.

In school she was often teased and jeered by her classmates
because she was differet and because of her disability. She
was often alone in the empty darkness which was her life.
Often she would cry at night, the only thing that her eyes
were able to do. However one day she met Tyler.

Tyler was a classmate of Amber and they became very good
friends. They shared secrets, talked about life and kept each
other company. For once Amber felt happy in her life, happy
that she is being cared by someone else aside from her parents.
They were very close and eventually they became lovers. Life
was happy for them when suddenly one day...

Amber's parents broke the good news for her. The hospital
recently received a pair of eyes from a donor and they were
able to give her vision after some surgery. Amber was very
happy and told Tyler the good news. He was happy for her

of course but there was some sadness in his voice. Amber
couldnt really find out why but she never thought much of
it.

On the very next week Amber went for the surgery and
a few months later she gained vision. She was able to see
things, colours and light. The first thing she wanted to do
however was to see Tyler, to see how her lover looks like!
But aparently she found out Tyler was blind too. She was
very disappointed and eventually they drifted apart.

I can never love a man like you!
You only remind me of my lousy past!
Both of us have no future!
What can you do to provide a family?
Those words from Amber stung like a dagger in Tyler's
heart. He was nothing to her anymore, just something
from her past.

Eventually Amber had a new life, with her vision she was
able to see new things, see different places, look at beautiful
colours. With her vision she was able to get a job and eventually
a family. With her vision her life changed dramtically, it was
truely a blessing. It has been a long time and she had totally
forgotten about Tyler.

One day, Amber found a rose with a note a her front door.
Thinking it was from her husband she opened the note
and read it. It said...

Dear Amber,

I know I have let you down, but I have tried
my best in making you happy. Life is not fair,
I know that. It doesn't matter to me that you
do not accept me for who I am but Im happy
for you. Because you can finally see the world
with MY eyes...

Tyler..

Drive

2009-05-08T10:29:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there lived a colony of frogs living in a
lily pond. The frogs lived in peace as they had a steady
population because of the abundant spawns they had.
These frogs were ruled by a King and Queen frog who
had a beautiful frog daughter. All the male frogs were
interested in the frog princess but were oftened shunned
by the protective frog King.

One day, the frog Queen was very sick because of a
mysterious illness. No matter how hard the frog King
tried he could never be able to find the right herbs to
cure the Queen's ailment. The King was very desperate
so he held a meeting that day with all of the colony's
male frogs.
"My Queen is very sick, and Im afraid the only known cure is from the Tree of life!"
saying that he pointed at a huge tree which was quite a
distance from the lily pond.
"My age is upon me, and I am not able to pluck the leaves from the tree as it is too tall"
"Why cant we just take a fallen leaf at the bottom of the tree?"
asked one of the younger frogs sheepishly.
"Because the medicine is only at its full effect if the leaf is plucked fresh! You fool!"
bellowed the King.
"To whoever who can get me a leaf from the top of the tree, you can have my princess
and her hand in marriage."

Most of the male frogs were very interested, but all
of them knew the danger of this task. The Tree of Life,
is the tallest tree in the forest and it is a very difficult
climb. However, a brave bunch gathered the next day
and travelled to the foot of the Tree of Life accompanied

by some mischevious frogs who had nothing to do. Each
of these brave frogs took turns to climb the tree and
each time the mischevious frogs would discourage them.
"You will fall, the bark of the tree is slippery!"
"Its too tall, none of you weaklings will make it!"
"Idiots, the princess will never marry you because all of you are failures!"

The list of their discouraging words go on and on as
many of the brave frogs, who climbed the tree fell to
their death, much to the delight of the mischevious frogs.
Many frogs have already lost their lives and most of the
remaining ones stayed negative. They discourage others
from going because the task seemed too impossible to do!

Suddenly one of the brave frogs, who had been quietly
watching all this while, pushed his way through the crowd
to the foot of the tree. He hopped pass his dead comrades
and proceeded to climb the tree. Most of the frogs urged him
to stop while the mischevious frogs laughed at him.
"Brother, please dont do this its impossible!"
"Haha you fool, you are going to die just like the rest!"

"Idiot, have you not learned??"

"Another one bites the dust haha!!"

Suprisingly, the brave frog made it to the top of the tree
and grabbed a couple of leaves and came down carefully,
much to the suprise of everyone. There was a wave of
silence, from both the brave and the mischevious frogs.
Suddenly the King approached from the crowd and walked
towards the frog. The King asked,
"My dear friend congratulations, my daughter's heart is yours. But I must ask, how did
you make it to the top?"
The quiet Frog replied,
"WHAT??!!!!"

he was deaf
*insert moral of story here*

You found me...

2009-05-07T09:13:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time during the early ages of existence, there were
no real living beings on earth as God had only started creating basic
things such as emotions and feelings. These emotions and feelings
were first kept on earth before being put into living things.
One day all the emotions such as Happiness, Anger, Sorrow, Love,
Hate, Kindness and Madness were in a play area. All of them were

bored and had nothing to do, so Happiness suggested that they played
hide and seek. At first everyone was a bit reluctant to play because
Anger was angry over something, Sorrow was sad over something
the list goes on but in the end they all agreed. They played rock, paper
and scissors to determine who was one who would seek and after all
the games Madness was to be the seeker. So Madness counted to one
hundred while the others ran about trying to find their hiding places.

" 97..98..99... 100 all right here I come!!"
Screamed madness, and he ran about frantically turning everything
upside down. Within seconds of chaos and destruction he found most
of the emotions in their hiding places. He went amok as he trashed things
about, causing a path of destruction everywhere. Within minutes he found
everyone, atleast he thought he did.

"YES!! YES!! I found all of you!! and it was EASY!!",
he said as he laughed maniacly.
"You stupid idiot! Look what you have done! And by the way you didnt find
Love. Which means you havent won yet!! You fool!"
Anger said sternly.
"What??? Where is he?? How did I miss him out???!! Arghhh!! LOVE you wait!!!"
Madness screamed.

He went into a mad rage as he clawed his way everywhere franticaly looking
for love. He was more berserk than usual scaring most of the emotions. Poor
Love was hiding in the bushes, scared to death and not daring to come out
from his hiding place. Suddenly, Madness saw a part of Love's head sticking out
from the bushes. He smiled happily as he ran to the bush, and started clawing it madly.
Madness used his sharp claws to tear away the leaves and poke into it to tempt
Love out. Love was too scared to come out and clinged onto the braches of the bush.

"COME OUT!! I know you're in there!! COME OUT!!!"
Madness screamed as he continued clawing and slashing the bushes.
In the process, he scratched Love's eyes out, causing Love to be completely blind.
Love came out of the bushes, eyes gone and crying. Madness, regretting his actions

started shouting frantically.

"Oh no! Oh no! What have I done?? What have I done!!? I can help you, I swear,
please let me help you!! What do you need??"
Madness pleaded.
"Well, the one thing you can do, is guide me and be my eyes everywhere I go"
Love replied.
"YESS!! YESS!! I'll be your guide, I promise!! Im yours!!" Madness agreed

So it was agreed, Love is blind and is led by Madness.

We are, we are, Youth of the Nation..

2009-05-02T10:09:00.001-07:00

Something taken a long time ago, not forgotten by a song

Music plays a very significant role in my life, you can somewhat
say its the flavour of my soul. Without it Im nothing but just a plain
soul in a human shell. Well, enough with the stupid corny crap.
Believe it or not, a day without music somewhat throws my day
off and I will feel something is missing, like I didnt take some
medicine. However when I turn my laptop on and fire up my
speakers, the feeling disappears within seconds and its just like
a glass of cold water after a hot day.

Music can sometimes remind me of the past, things that happened
before, things that happened when I listened to that certain track
alot. Well I have many songs in my list, about a thousand(maybe not
alot for most of you out there) and I wont even be able to finish

listening to all the songs in a day.

Since my huge list is usually on shuffle mode, once in a while a
random track, unplayed for weeks, maybe even MONTHS is played
and then past forgotten memories will start flooding in as the track is

played. Most of the time its a happy one, for an example a roadtrip I

had with some friends. Every other time its a bitter memory, sometimes

bitter enough to rip my barely healing wounds apart. Well while these

songs are being played, Id usually start day dreaming and flashbacks will
be played in my head. Sometimes these moments can be very
magical and up-lifting, anyone who has anything bad to say should
be shot in between their eyes.

Well music can also be an inspiration to me, as a kid I used to
like doodling silly pictures and cartoons(ask my secondary school
friends). Usually Id take time to lie on my bed and turn my radio
on. As music is being played, Id muse of things in my head, its
as though the rhythm from the music is actually forming images
in my head inspiring me to draw. The feeling of that is just something
I cant describe, well for one its empowering. I hardly draw anymore
because I feel Im too old for that, but I do miss doing it but my
ability is diminished, maybe even lost.

Sometimes, some songs containing memories are lost by certain
unforseen circumstances such as reformating my computer or
changing laptop. Usually Id forget, then there would be those
times when Im driving late at night, where the radio would
usually play old retro hits. Some old songs which brings memories,

memories maybe from my secondary school years or even my
childhood and Id speed home to download them. Its like downloading
lost memories lol. I know it sounds corny but yes, I do have an
affinity with music and I am not ashamed of it.

FlashbacK

2009-05-01T06:19:00.000-07:00

It was one warm late afternoon, when the sun had an orange glow
and there was a gentle breeze rustling the trees gently. There I stood
infront of the cafeteria building under a shade of trees waiting for
my friends to join me for dinner. It was usual for me to wait as most
of my dinnermates are usually from other houses.

What happened the night before was a big mistake, what I did wasnt
rational and I cant say that I thought it through enough and I really
regret doing it. I didnt consult any of my friends about it because I
was too scared that they would laugh at me. I never felt so alone about
something like this before.

As these thoughts kept running through my mind, I noticed someone
in a distance. A very familiar figure with pale complexion and tied up
hair walking towards my way. A sudden anxiety ran through me, at
that moment I just wanted to walk off and hopefully escape from what
I feared would happen. But it was too late, she already saw me and my
legs were rooted to the ground, as though my feet weighed a tonne.

She was with some other girls older than us and they gave me weird
stares with stern faces which I tried very hard to ignore. There she was
just a few feet away from me wearing her oversized t-shirt and mini shorts
combo as usual. She asked her friends to enter the cafeteria first, then
she looked at me, the first eye contact she made with me since I saw
her from a distance. The expression on her face was somewhat frustrated
and solemn at the same time. She beckoned me with her tiny fingers
and I slowly walked to her with my heavy feet towards the front of the
cafeteria door where she stood. I spoke first, atleast I tried to...

"Mary Im..."
"What the hell do you think you are doing Tom?"
"Well I ..."
"Shut the fuck up! Listen to me! Why are you trying to ruin our friendship?"
"But I ..."
"I thought we talked about it after the first time you asked! Why did you send me that message again this afternoon? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Dont fucking interupt me!! What the fuck are you talking about? What message? That wasnt me, Joe was playing with my phone this afternoon"
"I dont give a fuck! Stay the fuck away from me! Dont ever talk to me again! Bastard!"

Saying that, she stomped her foot on the ground, her rubber slippers
making a slap sound on the cold hard concrete floor and she stormed
into the cafeteria with a really angry expression on her face. I could
see some tears in her eyes. But at that moment I couldnt really give
a shit, I had feelings of my own as well and I walked off.

I didnt feel hungry anymore, just pissed and frustrated at the silly
way of how things happened. She didnt even bother to listen to me, she
just hammered me for something I didnt do. I walked off to my dorm
ignoring my friends who were walking my way. I didnt really care at
the moment, just angry at the world for no reason. Needless to say
I slept fitfully that night...

The title says it all

You, me and the moon

2009-04-28T05:31:00.000-07:00

Im fallen a part,
barely breathing,
with a broken heart
Now still bleeding,
Lifehouse-broken

23 more days till I'll be home sweet home, 3 and a half hours more
at the stroke of midnight it will be 22 more days left. Yes Im counting,
Im not crazy, Im homesick. Earlier, a friend asked me if I wanted to
stay behind in KL for a while after the exams. No way in hell Im gonna
pro-long my wait. I did not wait many blistering hot days and countless
cold nights just to stay at this crap hole any longer.

These few days have not been too bad, Im not really bored and I actually
started going through my notes which is an achievement really haha.
Turns out that staying back for the study break does have its advantages.

Today, I met my future housemate. The dude is going to move in when
one of my current housemate is moving out. When my landlord brought
him in with his parents I was scared to death because I was the only
one in the house. The living room was like some warzone and I could
see the shock on the dude's parent's face. To break the silence I extended
my hand to the dude and introduced myself.

Me: Hi, Im Ronald.
Dude: Yeah, seen you before
Me: .....

Did he say he seen me before or is that his name??? Damnit la, why la
always this kinda shit happen. I remember last time a new housemate
visited and I didnt intro myself cos I was scared cos he looked damn
MEAN looking hahhaa like a gangster(you know who you are). Well
if the new guy did "see me before" couldnt he have the decency to
atleast tell me his name??

Anyways, earlier this week I had a conversation with a friend which
was quite funny. Due to the content of the convo I would like to keep
her indentity anonymous.

Ping Pong: Hey, my finals are on the 18th of may and after that we hang out k?
Me: ok.
a few conversations later
Me: Hey, on the 18th me and XXX are planning a trip to redang. Wanna go?
Ping Pong: FUCK YOU LA
Me: why?
Ping Pong: BITCHY
Ping Pong: FINALS LA
Ping Pong: =.=
Ping Pong: TOLD YOU DEE MA, YOOR!
Ping Pong: YOU ALL PURPOSELY EH LOR
Me: 18th June la
Ping Pong: oh, sorry sorry
Me: wah kena fuck till like that hahahaha

I find this really funny cos of how it happened and all. It was so fast,
it was so random and just down right hilarious! BTW I dont want
our kid to be named dodo :p

Beautiful

2009-04-25T02:18:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I wish I could grow a pair of wings and fly away. Fly as in run,
run away from it all. From this pathetic thing called our life, Im not saying
anything about suicide. Im talking about our daily routine, this mundane
things humans do. The moment they are born, the are stuck in this cage
where they live, work, give birth to children, grow old and die. I dont want
to be like that, work for the rest of my life being a paper chaser, and be a
slave to money. Seems that I have no choice if not I'll starve to death and
die.

As a kid, I use to be foolish enough to think I could run away from home, and
make ends meet on the streets. Live my own life without education. How stupid
was I. But every now and then, I kept thinking about that idea(no, not thinking
about running away for real), about the consequences if I do run away, about
if it was possible for me to run away. I would be leaving behind alot of things,
my house, my car, my dog, fuck that. Ill be leaving behind my loved ones. My family
and friends.

I often think of my friends, far away or just next door. These are the people

who I look forward to see everyday. Listening or reading a message from someone
special far away is heaven enough for me. Eventhough you may not think so, but
I actually think about my family and friends often. You may think that sometimes
Im a cold hearted bastard for not keeping in touch but Im just an average joe like
you. I have things to do, assignments to hand up, examinations to do and other
people to meet. I try very hard to keep in touch at every opportunity I can but
there is just so much I could do.

Ill be home soon, 25 more days. To see the people who made me shed my wings
and glued my freaking legs right to the ground =)

realise the irony?

Nights that never end

2009-04-20T08:56:00.000-07:00

Miss you Nabs, its been awhile seriously

In about 29 more days I'll be back home..
Currently I have study break and why didnt I go home you ask?
Cos it would be like last semester. 2 weeks of study break, I go
home one week study the next. Well aparently in Penang for some
damn reason its just too fun! Time passes by too fast and by the
time the week has ended I cant concentrate. Ill just be thinking
too much about the times Ive spent in Penang and it will be
completely pointless for me to study.

So this time its going to be different, Im gonna stay back for
two whole damn weeks, and see what happens. If it is still the
same next sem Im going home lol. This sem somewhat felt
quite long. Im not saying that I didnt have fun, dont get me
wrong I do. But the people I usually have fun with arent always
around and the timing for plans is always bad.

In Penang life is always so much easier, transport is never a
problem because I drive, finding enough people to go out is never
really a problem either, because my friends are always around
and my friends will always bring their friends and it will just
be a huge outing. I miss home =(

Things are going to change, a lot of people are going to Kl soon,
I dont know what Im going to do in Penang during those months.

Lol if you notice, before a sem is going to end Ill always write
some little soppy post very similiar to this one. I dont know why
but I just have so many bad things to say about this crap hole.
Well just imagine yourself in my shoes, being far away from home
and in a town as dead as this, SEMENYIH. Then this is the part where I say
Im pissed off over something. Honestly being here I actually
learn to be more patient. I have no more time and energy to get
pissed off over anything or anyone anymore. I just want to go home =(

I got a message on Friendster today

2009-04-18T09:03:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in life, you have to be cruel for your own good.
I have this problem, I had it for many years and I fear there
might be more to come. Its that certain ghosts, wait let me
rephrase that, people, yes these people are pretty much alive
and they constantly bother me. Well these people werent
always ghosts. They were actually once my good friends and
at one point I was extremely close to them.

Ok let me start from the beginning. During my secondary school
years in Penang, lets just say I didnt exactly mix with the right
crowd. I wasnt very proud of my social circle then because not
only did I mix with the wrong people, I didnt have much friends.
I wasnt really going in the right direction, lets just say I wasnt
going anywhere and these people are somewhat making it worse.

Well things turned up in the middle of my secondary school years,
I was sent to a boarding school in Seremban. I met a lot of new
people there and obviously made new friends. Lets just say I got
a complete make over not in the sense of appearance but my attitude,
the way I think and my point of view over everything. I learnt many
painful lessons there, the people I met knocked me into my senses
and lets just say I learnt the hard way. In the end it all paid off,
I crawled out of my shell. Needless to say my social frequency changed,
in other words I dont mix with the same people anymore.

I didnt mean to ditch or abandon my old friends when I got home, I tried to change them
but aparently they were too stubborn. So I started avoiding them, lets
just say it was my own way of moving on. I didnt fit in their world
anymore and neither did they fit in mine. But they were too stubborn
they kept coming back. They kept calling, smsing and trying to get
me online. It was easy avoiding them because Im far away. Eventually
I would get smses like

Hey you damn lansi ya?
Keep avoiding us, didnt
keep in touch, go to hell

I was not shaken by words like these. In fact they kinda reminded me
of my crummy past. At one point it all went silent. I thanked my stars
because I assumed they gave up. But I was wrong. I knew I couldnt
escape. They eventually found me on facebook, friendster and got my
msn, dont ask me how. They are so God damn stubborn, they keep on
trying again and again and again and again. I get calls in the middle of
the night, random emails add me. They seem to be from the same group
of people. Was I that good of a friend?? Am I worth tracking down??
I am more scared than flattered.

These people will never give up. Until today they are still trying. When
I reply them I get scolded for avoiding them, when I dont reply them
they scold me anyways. So why keep trying?? You guys got nothing else
to do?? Freaking bunch of losers, useless people, please get lost and just
fuck off..

JTLL

2009-04-16T09:39:00.000-07:00

She was in my course,
she was in my english class,
a girl with a cause
and a fiesty lass.

She has a bright smile
and a nice fringe,
her words are hardly foul
and shes nuts about avril lavigne.

She can be very forgiving at times
but hates it when a retard speaks
Sour she can be like limes
to one called T***

Innocent she is,
so handle her with care
she's quite easy to piss
so perverts beware.

A new dawn arrives,
as the hands around the clock spin,
an important day of our lives,
somebody turns nineteen.

Time to grow up
live everyday happily
I dont care about the size of your cup
as long as its bigger than stefanie's

Viva la Mexico

2009-04-12T12:46:00.000-07:00

Certain random things that I would like to say to random people and random things I just want to say out loud cos I effing feel like it.

1) I want to go home, like RIGHT NOW

2) No matter how much you piss and moan I'll never be able to choose the right words

3) It sucks being a banana

4) Can't you chill and go to bed? Please??

5) Please no animals allowed on my throne

6) Notice this is a chinese traditional medicine, if symtoms presist please go see a doctor. FML

7) Why do I have to present tomorrow? Why cant you be a normal english teacher?

8) Hurry up, take your time, choice is yours dont be late

9) I will not marry a fat indian wife.. NEVER!!

10) Stop haunting me fools, get some new friends and leave me alone

11) Should really stop feeding strays..

12) Should stop stealing puppies

13) If you dump his ass Ill show you a good time

14) You suck man... BIG time

15) Should really try that cap kapak thing the dubai guy keeps talking about ahahah

16) You evil evil evil bitch.. You're still sexy tho..

17) Her favourite colour be platinum and gold

18) Hates asian moments around whities

19) FML.FML.FML.FML.FML.

20) They are nice people.. Just sad I dont speak their language

21) CaNt SleEP FeELinG ReAlLy HyPEr

22) Bali trip cancelled wadafuk, perhentian anyone?

23) If you seek Amy tonight LOL!!

24) Kinda miss my Ktj homies..

25) In my world only 3 colours exist, black red and white..

26) Thinks that english marks arent gonna be too hot this sem

27) Without angles pool isnt a fun thing to do

28) Come one come all.. Into 1984

29) I realised that the living room automatically messes itself

30) Im in love with my own sins..

Thats all for my random ramble.. Its up to you to choose to think what they mean..

Questionairre Survey

2009-04-10T10:53:00.000-07:00

Earlier I did one of thoe quizzes on facebook and there was
this one based on how perverted are you. I think it was a
useless ridiculous quiz which definitely doesnt tell you if
you are a pervert or not. So I decided to compose one myself.
Please dont get the wrong impression lol Im doing this just
for pure fun haha..

1) Do you find this phrase funny? "Shes coming now"
yes/no

2) Do you know what does the term river mean?
yes/no

3) Do you have certain personal words you come up with yourself for certain perverted things?
yes/no

4) Do you often rate a male/female stranger's appearance out of 10?
yes/no

5) Do you lose control of your eyes when attractive people are around?
yes/no

6) Do you know what a woody or a boner is?
yes/no

7) Do you laugh whenever someone uses the word "suck" in a sentence?
yes/no

8) Do you know what a blowjob is?
yes/no

9) Based on question 8 if you said yes, do you ever wonder why its called blow when it means the exact opposite?
yes/no

10) Do you laugh when you see two round objects placed side by side? (eg bowls)
yes/no

11) Do you know what an american breakfast is?
yes/no

12) Did you pay extra attention during classes regarding reproduction during secondary school?
yes/no

13) When you see a guy/girl who looks good from the back, do you purposely walk faster to their direction and hope for them to turn around?
yes/no

14) Do you use time as a direction when checking out people?(eg. look at your 6 oclock)
yes/no

15) Do you think of random perverted parodies for certain songs you listen to?
yes/no

16) Do you often laugh at certain dirty jokes while others wont get it?
yes/no

17) Do you pray that it rains when someone attractive in class wears white?
yes/no

18) Do you purposely take pictures of people when they are in a pose which looks wrong?
yes/no

19) Do you drive slower when you see a dude/chick by the side of the road?
yes/no

20) Do you wear sunglasses to check people out?
yes/no

21) Do you about Hooters?
yes/no

22) Do you stare at someone when he or she is bending down?
yes/no

23) If you club, do you delibrately dance closely to someone attractive?
yes/no

24) Do you delibrately buy things from a certain shop cos the cashier is attractive?
yes/no

25) Do you delibrately ask your friends to go swimming so you can check them out?
yes/no

For each yes put a 4% to your score
if you are wondering why I use he/she, yes you got it, perverted girls do exist hahahah
ps if you are wondering my score is 72%
tell me ures in the cbox!

Her Favourite Colour be Platinum and Gold

2009-04-09T21:51:00.000-07:00

Since 3 weeks ago Ive made careful planning and looked into
the calendar to try and find a suitable time to come home. But,
almost everyweek there seemed to be some obstacle in the way
such as english report, presentation, assignments, test and lousy
timing. So i guess it isnt going to be like last sem, spend the first
week of the study break home and the remaining one here.

*sigh*

The house is currently half empty which makes it quite quiet. The
only good thing about this is I can blast my speakers without the
displeasure of anyone. Not much classes, on this coming week which
gives me ample time to study *ya right*. Anybody wanna go for a
swim or a few rounds of badminton?

Getting sick of certain people with their "cowboy, kampung, uneducated"
attitude. I dont really give a fuck what you do. Keep it to yourself and
stop trying to make people envious. If thats what intend to do to me
sorry to disappoint you but I never really gave a shit about you from
the start. Childish shit.

Bali trip during the holiday trip yo!!! Cant wait for that altho we need to
wait for conformation from everyone first ahaha. But Im a yesssss!
Kwen dont let me down bro *pressure pressure* haha jkjk

Num-num-num

2009-04-04T06:33:00.000-07:00

Was put today with Eelyn, Joyce and her Bf today. Not bad
for a random outing in Midvalley. It was nice meeting up with
them after so long eventhough Joyce has been around like
ALWAYS cos she studies in HELP but she is just too busy.
Lol whatever still nice to see them again haha.

Got a haircut after that. Wasnt too bad and It didnt cost as
much as I expected it to be. Well you know me being a banana
initially I spoke to the stylist in english. She just played along
and continued speaking to me in english, not saying a single
word in mandrin or cantonese to lead our conversation to the
following languages. I was thinking hmmm not bad, someone
speaking to me in english without questioning me about it. 5 mins
into cutting my hair she broke the silence by asking me if I was
not malaysian. I said I was and she gave me this weird look. FML

hahaha

Met up with Pierre after that. The last time I saw him was during
KTJ prom. Hell that was about more than half a year ago. As usual
we just sit down yamcha and talk crap haha. WAs suppose to meet
up with Sean tho, but it didnt work out cos of some complications.
Not a bad day after a long week of assignments and examinations

ǝuǝloɾ

2009-04-03T06:26:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was this girl who moved from
the cowboy town of Penang mainland to the so called
turtle island. This is how she looks like

from behind sadly cos there are no real photos taken(worth taking jkjk) of her haha :p
Still cant figure out who she is?? here is another one!!

wah damn sexy back lor... Dunno la.. who is dis mystery girl
All i noe is she playz da piano lor..

and her ass is about this BIGG

noticed all these pictures are taken from the back? hmmm who is this mystery
sexy back? Sadly this is the only front view pic available ahahaha

Still dont know her name? Starts with Fug and ends with Lene LO!L!

Backstabbing CUNT

2009-03-29T08:51:00.000-07:00

As a true friend I would...

always be there for my friends and help them in anyway I could

never blow my friends off for some chick or another "cooler" group

respect my friend's time and patience

never see colour or religion as a boundary in friendship

never intentionally piss my friends off for no reason

be apologetic when Im wrong

be forgiving when they are wrong

never delibrately use them for my own needs

always be supporting of their positive decisions

never make decisions for them but give them advice and opinions regarding the decision

keep their secrets and trust them with mine too

never think that 5am is a bad time to call for help

always keep my doors open to them( in Semenyih only la =P)

always provide laughter to them

never inconvinience them in any way for my own convinience

always try to keep and touch and never forget the good old days

offer a ride if they dont have any transport home, usually regardless of the distance.. usually...

willing to accept criticism and take them as a lesson

offer a listening ear everytime someone has to bitch, whine or just needs to talk

never FFK anyone without a valid reason, I NEVER FFK

take the initiative to do a good job when I say yes to a favour or a request

never backstab them( talk shit yes la =P)

know when the time is not right for this or that

never disturb them when they are pissed or sad..

be happy for them when good things happen instead of being jealous

this is a post I wrote on my OWN. Not some crappy cut and paste thing.
If you ask why? I suddenly felt like writing it. I do really abide by these
rules and follow them. If you feel that I dont, you are probably not my
friend enough said. Finally if you wish to be a good friend you'd probably
follow them as well...

This is just who I am this week...

2009-03-28T03:14:00.000-07:00

Imran: Dei Ronald, wtf stop taking pics and play la...(strong accent) hahhaa

Haih..............

Its long boring afternoons like these Id be out if I was in Penang
but no, the reality is that Im here lol. By this time I would have
drove to Gurney and maybe catch a movie with my friends. Before
that we would either play pool, get a drink in Coffee Bean, walk
around window shopping or just sit down somewhere lol. Im staying
positive and be patient for I have about 5 more weeks till this sem is
over.

On the other hand Ive started playing badminton again lol =D. The
last time I played was at Sem 0 but I can count the number of times I
played then with one hand. The only time I can recall playing like crazy
was during those good times in KTJ. Back then it was cool, 3-4 days a
week of badminton and 2 hours each. Ahhh, those were the times lol.
I really miss life there, eventhough you are confined within the grounds
it is somehow more fun there then it is here. Plus I really miss my friends,
but unfortunately its so hard to keep in touch when everyone is spreaded
all over the frickin place.

Gahhh so God damn Fucking frustrating...

Stiches on my back

2009-03-24T05:40:00.000-07:00

How could I have been so dumb? To get fooled like that, to
get backstabbed like that. For 6 months Ive gone through
several misunderstandings and Ive been treating the wrong
people right and the right people wrong. Because of that I
regret my actions and would like to apologize to all of those
who were hurt by my words. What Ive said was never meant
for your ears and was leaked out without my consent. Leaked
out by some jerk who wants some justice done to me.

Fine, I admit I was wrong, very wrong and for that I would
really like to say sorry to all my friends who were affected by this.
I didnt mean to say all those things about you guys , infact you know me
and my mean nature. Its normal for me but I have realised, learned
and changed. Nobody is perfect and we all know that. But for the
traitor who want to gain some street cred from my downfall, I
will never apologize to you for the things I did to you. You deserve
them and thats what you get, and believe me brother, there is more
to come. My only single biggest regret is having to fight fire with fire
but I dont see any other way since you said those shit about my friends.

I would like to let out my biggest apology to a dear friend of mine
who has tolerated my crap for the last 4 months. I misunderstood
you and took you as the one who was in the wrong. Im really really
sorry that you have to bear with the burden on your shoulders because
of my wrongs. I appreciate the fact that you have tried to make me
realise what Im doing is wrong but I always turn you down. I know
I can be a real dumbass sometimes but now Im all ears. You have
nothing to do with this and you shouldnt take any blame at all.
I was the one who was supposed to sense something was wrong
when you started acting weird, but I took it as a fact that you just
wanted to get rid of me. I was dead wrong and once again Im really
sorry. I would also like to apologize again the others who were annoyed
and angry at my words. Rest assure that was last time.

To the dog that backstabbed me, Im not angry at you man. Im in
no mood to be angry or hate anyone. Ill just plaster on a fake smile
around you and what you have to say doesnt mean shit to me and
pretty soon it wont mean shit to anyone :D
Watch your pimpled back mafaka..

Dogmen

2009-03-21T09:28:00.000-07:00

Although most people may not notice but there is actually
a special breed of human in this world we reside in. This
breed of human is not very new to us and it has been living
among us ever since our planet was modernised. Ladies
and gentlemen I present you this extrodinary creature,
the dogman.

Yes! You heard it from me! The dogman, a cross between
a human and a dog. This unique species of humans have
both characteristics of both humans and dogs minus
the loyalty. This creature can actually think for itself
unlike the dog, which makes it stand out from its fellow K9.

Well lets see, first of all lets see the dog's side of the dogman.
First of all like the dog, the dogman is nice to you when it is
hungry or in other words when it needs something. It has a
very unique way of begging. It will be extremely nice to you
and it wags it's "tail" to show how much it "appreciates" what
you are doing for it. When it gets its food or whatever it needs
it walks off and minds its own business and you are not so
important to it until it needs whatever it wants again, its "food".

Well unlike the dog, the dogman doesnt answer you when you call
it, e.g on the phone. It will only call you when it needs you. Dogs
show enthusiasm when you are playing with it, but this dogman
only shows enthusiasm when you have something to offer it. The
dogman will do all sorts of "tricks" for you when you have its tasty treats
standing by. When you are all out of "doggy treats" the dogman doesnt
give a shit about you. It doesnt think you have feelings. All you are
is just a "food" dispenser.

As for the human side of the dogman, lets see. First of all its greedy,
it grabs anything it can get its CLAWS on without hesitation. Its selfish,
its doesnt even want to share with its own fellow dogmen! Thats why
most of these dogmen dont run in packs and they stand alone. Next
these dogmen are cowards, all they can do is bark, no matter how loud
they bark they will never bite which makes them useless. Furthermore
these dogmen are disgusting creatures, they are dirty and sloppy. They
stink cos they hardly clean themselves up. Last but not least they are
very ugly creatures whose insides are God damn ugly just like their
horrendous appearance, sometimes they are really fat too. HAHA
damn... these creature are downright hopeless!!

Truely magnificent, this creature isnt entirely God's creation. Society
is partly blamed for it. But no matter where you go there will always
be dogmen. As for me Im very ashamed to have know them, some of
my "friends" are dogmen and infact I lived(am living) with some of them.
My advice, put them to sleep and end their misery.

END

Short Pointless Update

2009-03-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

After a long intense battle, it is finally over and
I can literally feel a huge weight off my shoulders.
But as the saying goes, the battle may be over but
not the war. This battle im referring to is my maths
test haha.

Lol this week is not very eventful. As usual lor..
I had to stay over TY's place yesterday cos I knw
if I decided to go back to my place and "do" maths
Id probably be online and screw up my paper lol. He
said he already fixed up his house wireless and to
bring my laptop, no way in hell wei lol.

Not going for annual dinner anymore btw. In
the end many peeps backed out and shit so
yeah not going. Atleast I manage to save more than
100 bucks for it lol. Anyways earlier I spent
that money on a bottle of gold... Whoops

Love of my Life

2009-03-16T08:23:00.000-07:00

Hi there guys... I have a friend
She's really cute and all... She nice, friendly bla bla bla
Love her to bits XD
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meet Fuglene <3>